How many text messages do you send out of boredom? If you’re like most of the guys I meet, probably a fair number! STOP! It’s really not helping your romantic life. These “hey you” or “what’s up” text messages are actually making you WAY less attractive to the person you’re texting. This type of message doesn’t make you seem quirky and talkative – it labels you as boring, needy and just plain unsexy.

It can also label you as a spammer…

Spammers are generally disliked. No one appreciates their time being wasted for no good reason. Just try sending out unsolicited emails – the email provider will shut your little shop down pronto. And for good reason!

Well, unfortunately, the perils of spamming don’t end there. Some people feel the need to be “romantic text spammers”, and let me tell you – this is NEVER a good idea.

Text spammers are the “bad guys” of the dating world that are often overlooked. No they’re not outright a**holes, nor are they rude to your face, but when it comes to stupid things that annoy me, unsolicited text messages are at the top of my list.

And it happens WAY more than you think.

Enter Two “Nice Dudes”

Well, recently I met 2 “nice” new guys in the span of 8 hours. One in London, and one in Geneva. Each meeting was basically the same old cookie cutter story:

We met, we laughed, we chatted (briefly) then they asked for my number.

I had genuinely enjoyed our light-hearted conversation, so of course I handed over my digits.

Error. Error. Turn back.

Within 5 minutes I had received my first text.

Speedy G

Ok… I thought. Maybe they are just verifying that I gave them a real phone number, or it’s “their thing” to be extremely enthusiastic. I’m cool with that. So, I answered. Then, within a few messages they started calling. Great, a guy who calls – we all love that, right?

Stupid Things #1: Mid afternoon Phone Calls

Well, not always…it was in the middle of a work day

So this is where it starts to get weird. They both KEPT DOING stupid things even when I was upfront and told them to stop.

The same guy called me a few days later at almost exactly the same time (after I had told him 3 in the afternoon was not the best moment in the day to talk flirty)

Guys, here’s a hint: unless it’s your girlfriend or a good friend, don’t disturb her at 3:15. Give her a quick lunch-time call – or save it ‘til the evening.

…but that was nothing compared to what happened next.

Stupid Things #2: Needy Texts

Oh yeah, it got needy.

“it was a pleasure meeting you, but I miss your smile…and I miss you”

I’m sorry; I don’t have time for texts like that from someone I barely know. STOP SPAMMING ME with your neediness! It’s not possible to genuinely miss someone you only met for 15 minutes.

So, I wrote something polite, yet firm telling him to cool it.

…but the stupid things kept coming.

Stupid Things #3: Copy and Paste

I’m not joking, one of the guys almost did a copy and paste of that same zero value added message, day after day (how thoughtful – especially after I told him to stop).

“Am thinking of u and missing ur smiling face but most importantly missing u” (hmmm I THINK I may have seen that one before…like your LAST message!)

Him: “Thinking of u and missing u”

Him: “Hello how r u”

Him: “Hello how r u”

Him: “Hello how r u”

I mean, come on. At least be ORIGINAL! Not even being bothered to think up new ways to spam me is almost insulting.

So, I told them both that I was no longer interested in hearing from them and stopped answering their text messages all together.

What could have been something, turned into nothing.

Keep In Mind…

Moral of the story? Don’t be a spammer, or a copy and paster or a guy that doesn’t listen to what a girl is telling him! Girls are turned off by neediness or excessive texting too. We might be labeled the “chatty sex” but that only applies when you have something original to say, you listen to us, and we become genuinely interested in you!

Start off on the right foot, and we might get there. But begin a “hot new potential relationship” by doing any of the above, and you will find yourself out of the running for your new crush.

So, What Are The Takeaways From This Story?

1. Keep your text exchanges 1:1
2. Be respectful of people’s time: don’t call someone you barely know during working hours unless she’s asked you to.
3. Read what she’s writing. For example, if she texts you “I’m really busy right now” don’t offer to take her to Paris with you (yes, this was one of their text messages). If she has no time to talk, then no, she probably can’t meet you at the airport in 20.

Use Texting To Your Advantage

Masterful texting can create attraction and desire. However, ill thought out, or poorly timed texts (stupid things) can destroy it just as fast. Always use common sense.

Ready to take your texting to the next level? Check out French Seduction Made Easy – it’s the ultimate guide to texting and includes over 2000 text message examples!

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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  1. Great advice, Claudia. One of the biggest mistakes men make is thinking that being overly sweet and nice is the best way to impress a woman. Yuck. Like you said, don’t act like you are someone’s girlfriend when you first meet! It’s best to gradually raise up the niceness and sweetness as you go

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