If you’re having trouble keeping the conversation going or getting past the third text, read on for 5 rules, tips and examples that will help you find interesting and unique questions to ask a girl.
Whether you’re heading out on a first date with a girl you’re interested in, taking her out for the third time, or you’ve just finally scored her number, oodles of guys struggle finding topics of conversation.
Grab Her Attention
It’s a big problem in the dating scene, because no matter what position you’re in, if there’s one thing you need to do with a girl, it’s keep her attention! And what better way to do this then to have up your sleeve a load of good question ammo?
The reason this works so well is because EVERYONE loves talking about themselves, especially if the person they are talking to is genuinely interested – it’s flattering, and it will make her feel more confident, which means she’s more likely to be herself. Trust me, nothing will make a girl act weird like long pauses on the phone or awkward half-smiles across the breadbasket.
Don’t Let Awkward Rule
Everyone has had that awkward text conversation that ends in a lame, ‘Going to bed… night’ at 8pm, or that date where the conversation stalled before your food had arrived at the table – and it probably had a whole lot to do with that fact that you had NO IDEA what questions to ask a girl to keep the conversation flowing.
Sound familiar? Well, never fear – you don’t have to be a master of the art of conversation to think up great questions to ask a girl, you just have to know which questions will make you SEEM like a master, and then you’re set.
Questions To Ask A Girl: Tips To Keep In Mind
Here are a few tips that will keep the conversation flowing, or score a quick reply to your message.
Think you’re ready to dive straight in? Read on.
1. Keep It Light & Easy
First things first – this is not a job interview. If she’s sweating in her seat, you’re going too tough. Likewise, if she hasn’t texted back, chances are she’s had a hard enough day at work and is sick of the endless interrogation!
Make your questions fun, a little bit meaningless, and easy to answer in one or two sentences. If it’s anything that doesn’t fit into a text message, don’t ask. If it’s something that might lead to an argument (for example, her political affiliation, or her stance on environmental affairs), maybe leave it for a few more dates when you know how to argue with each other and kiss and make up (if that’s your thing).
Some great light, easy, and fun questions to ask are:
“What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re alone?”
“What are you doing riiiight now?” (Over text)
All these questions are easy to answer, not too serious, but still big enough to get a bit of a conversation going.
2. Timing Is Everything
You could have the best question in the world, but if the timing is wrong, your question will bomb, regardless.
Don’t try to be cute and message her in the middle of the day asking about her favorite food – she’s at work. Working. She doesn’t care.
Likewise, don’t text her if it’s inappropriately late. If she leads off the late night texting, great – but if not, leave it till the morning.
If you’re out on a date, keep the questions under wraps until you’re all settled in. It’s difficult to keep any kind of coherent conversations happening over coatroom struggle, the seating, and then the arriving of waiter, water, menu etc. You want to have her full attention when you turn on the question charm, so time it right.
3. Respect The Stage Of Your Relationship
When you’re thinking of questions to ask a girl, keep in mind where you’re at in your relationship, and censor your questions accordingly. You don’t want to get into any serious discussions this early on, such as “Do you see yourself having children within the next five years?”
Nothing kills a conversation faster than getting too personal too soon.
For early on in your relationship, try:
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” (This should be done in a joking manner, preferably while looking her in the eyes, using your sexiest voice, so she knows you’re just playing)
All these questions to ask a girl are lighthearted jokes that make a play of the fact that you’ve recently started texting each other, or you’re on your first date. She doesn’t have to answer them seriously, but they are sure to get a laugh.
4. Leave It Open-Ended
Good questions to ask a girl are questions that are open ended and leave a lot of room for her to answer however she wants. This means if she isn’t in to the conversation topic, she can shut you down with a quick one-word text, or if you’ve hit the nail on the head, she can flood your inbox. In person, if you ask the right open-ended question, you might only have to ask just that one to keep the banter happening all night.
The best way to do this is to ask non-specific questions that let her be imaginative. Not only does it allow room for her to grow the conversation herself, but it also means you get a bit of a glimpse in to her creative side – the way she answers an open-ended question will tell you a lot about where her mind is at, and how open she is to you, and to new experiences.
Stay away from definitive questions that get her to categories her likes and dislikes, and steer more towards questions that ask her to tell a story.
Try something like these:
“What are you all about?”
“What do you wish you already knew about me?”
“What would I have to do to score a date? :)”
5. Ask About HER
Wondering which topics work best for good questions to ask a girl? It’s obvious, but I’ll say it anyway – HER.
Most people’s favorite topic is themself and it also happens to be the topic they know the most about – she’s no different. If you’re struggling for good questions to ask a girl, its right in front you.
However, as we said above, you need to respect where you are in your relationship, so you can’t get too deep too fast. Ask quirky personal questions that show interest in her nuances that no one else asks about. She’ll be flattered that you care about it, and trust me, she has the answer to most personal questions. If you’re worried about doing these on a date where she might blush, or find it too full on, do it over text when you’re trying to work up the excitement.
To get personal but stay light and quirky, try one of the following:
“What do you think people think about you when they first meet you?”
“Why do you have the habits you have?”
“Do you do anything weird that you’ve NEVER admitted to anyone?”
Going not so specific leaves her room to answer at a level she is comfortable with.
It’s Time For Action!
So, now you know the rules behind good questions to ask girls, all you have to do is put them into practice, and become the master of conversation you always wanted to be.
Remember, when it comes to questions to ask a girl, keep it light, open-ended, well-timed both in the day and in your relationship, and all about her! Good luck & happy texting!