Last night you had a great first date. After spending a couple hours engaged in playful conversation and storytelling, you want more. Guess what? If your dreams are going to become reality, you’re gonna need to man up and send the dreaded ‘After First-Date Text’.
Relax. If you felt like things went well, then she probably feels the same way. This means it’s time to continue building momentum and move on to the next round.
Convincing a girl to go out on a date with you the first time around, is much harder than the second. Why? Because when a girl accepts a first date she is heavily investing herself in a man that she barely knows anything about. For the second date, she has an inkling of an idea about who you are. If you totally tanked and were a jerk than you can kiss your chances at seeing her again goodbye. Yet, if she did enjoy her time with you than it much easier to convince her to agree to a 2nd date.
Keep Your After First Date Text Message Casual
The traditional dating of yesteryear are no more. Today, if a man invites a woman to a fancy dinner right after meeting her, she may feel that he is coming on too strong. Any sort of heavy financial or emotional investment on the man’s end could come off as needy, and the same applies to texting.
The frame of the after first-date text should be along the lines of ‘Hey, you’re cute and fun; so am I. Let’s hang out again and have a good time together like we did the other night.”
Expertly Pulling Off After First-Date Text
Smart men, suave men, funny men and pretty much super annoyed with the whole dating scene men have pondered and pondered the question of how soon to contact a girl after the first date. Some schools of thought suggest immediate action, and texting her the same evening, though others suggest waiting several days. While the answer largely depends on your connection with the girl, it should be somewhere between the two.
Personally, as a woman, my date gets some serious bonus points if he sends me a text message relatively soon after our date. I don’t think the guy is needy, or he has nothing to do. I think he is classy, interested in me (which is sexy) and not a player (which is also sexy).
But, like I said…it’s up to you and how you felt during the date.
What to Send…5 Key Elements
The After first-date text should stick to a few basic principles:
- Let her know you enjoyed her company,
- Be funny (but don’t be a try-hard),
- Keep it brief,
- Be upbeat, and
- Make plans
A lot of guys may be tempted to get into a conversation about daily grind, in hopes that the more she texts, the more she will fall for him. The reality is that the more you text a girl, the more room for error you’re leaving, and the less mysterious you are coming across. One offensive text and you are toast. Fifty boring texts and you are labeled as boring.
Here’s a sample of what an after first-date text should look like:
Guy: Hey Cinderella, how’s it going?
Girl: Haha I’m great thanks! And you?
Guy: I’m just excellent! I really enjoyed “getting into trouble” with you the other night. Are you free Thursday?
Guy: Great. Let’s go to XX at 9 PM. I’ll pick you up in my limo 😉
Girl: Okay see you there!
See how simple and straightforward that was? The guy wasn’t trying to be needy; he just wanted to see her again, and he threw in a little piece of his personality.
Many text conversations may not go this smoothly, but it’s always a good idea to stick to this for the after first-date text conversation.
What If She Doesn’t Text You Back?
Sometimes if a girl isn’t interested in seeing you again, she’ll give vague, short answers and try to seem busy (I’m washing my hair types of things). Sometimes she won’t respond at all (yep, I’ve done all of those…sorry guys).
Hey, it happens to the best of us. You can always try texting her again, but don’t invest too heavily in a girl you barely know. It is a recipe for disaster – you will slowly start destroying your self-esteem, and you will push her away. So, instead of texting her, do something else! Dating, texting and getting to know someone should be fun, so if you feel like the whole story is more of a thorn in your side than a guilty pleasure, move on.