Are you struggling with your text banter? Do you find yourself faced with brutal silence? Or maybe entering into a boring string of zero value added messages? Well, struggle no more, help is on the way! Read on to learn how to carry on a text conversation like a pro.

I have a confession to make: I’m absolutely fascinated by virtual attraction (but you probably already figured that out) Why? Because mastering how to keep a text conversation going strong makes you insanely more attractive! Along with text messaging, other modern communication gems like Face Time, Messenger, What’s App, Viber, and Skype all make it all the easier to stay connected, leverage your charm and to seduce from afar.

Let Your Fingers Do The Talking

Seriously, the world is your playing field! The possibilities for modern communication are endless, still a lot of people struggle with figuring out how to keep a text conversation going. For many, flirting at a distance simply doesn’t come as naturally as communicating face to face. If this sounds like you, don’t worry, because with a few tips you can be well on your way to mastering this fine art.

1. Kill It With Details

Much like snappy dressing, professional presentations and gourmet cooking, the devil is in the details. So before you start pressing random buttons on your phone, make sure that what you’ve written makes sense. One of my favorite tricks is reading my text messages out loud.

Could they be easily misinterpreted as cold or aggressive? Is the punctuation correct? Are there tons of spelling errors? Random capitals? Package your texts up as if they were a pretty gift. Spend the extra 20 seconds to make sure that they look aesthetically pleasing and that the content doesn’t leave any room for doubt.

2. Show Interest In Your Partner

It may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s uber important. Before you go on and on about your long commute, or your crazy job, stop and turn the conversation toward the person at the other end. It’s surprising how many people practice one-way text conversations…yawn.

Ask questions that will encourage your partner to say more than a few words and make them feel special, not like they are being interviewed for a new job.

What To Text:

“Beautiful day, beautiful girl…how did your race go?”

“Dinner was amazing. I’m curious—where did you learn how to cook like that?

“Would you even miss the Game of Thrones just to be with me? ;-)”

3. Be Patient

Even though modern communication is often fast-paced, you may still find yourself occasionally waiting for a response. Take a chill pill! A pause between replies doesn’t necessarily mean that a conversation is over.

Remember, the goal is to have fun, and often the more aloof you are, the more attractive you become to your partner. If you really want to be sexy, be the person to pull the plug first. The ultimate key to seduction is leaving your partner wanting more. Key take away: mastering how to keep a text conversation going means being patient.

What To Text:

“Too bad you’re busy…I was going to send you something special ;)”

“You making a snow man or something over there?”

4. Focus On Fun

Looking back at my romantic escapades, I have always fallen hardest for the “fun guys”. You know, the guys with tons of witty and interesting things to say, who have a way of not taking every conversation too seriously. So, even if you are trying to be romantic, don’t stick to sonnets and love quotes from the Internet. Send something playful, friendly, or even a little sexy. After all, making someone laugh and smile creates a sexual tension, and keeps the conversation from stalling.

What To Text:

“Just wondering – are you as turned on as me right now? ☺”

“Was just doing the math – still 62 kama sutra positions left to go.”

How To Keep A Text Conversation Going & Going

Learning how to keep a text conversation going takes some effort, but once you enjoy a little flirtatious virtual communication, you’ll be up for the challenge!

Next time you find yourself in a boring text conversation, or just don’t know what to say, pause, put the phone down, and do something else. Use a few of these tips for how to keep a text conversation going next time to give your conversation a mega boost.

If you’re interested in learning how to send texts that differentiate you, keep you on your partner’s radar, and are actually fun, then check out my eBook French Seduction Made Easy. It’s a unique program with the “French Touch” that will teach you the art of seducing your sweetie via text. Don’t send even one more mundane text.

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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    1. Hi Adam,
      I know it’s frustrating, but I wouldn’t worry about one snapchat….maybe she was just busy with friends and then she forgot? Do you already see her frequently in person? If not, can you set something up?

    2. Hey Adam. Sorry to tell you, that means she probably doesn’t like you. As a girl, if I liked a guy and he sent me a snapchat, I would be quick to reply. Of course you want to be in communication with the person you like. She’s probably not the right one but there’ll be others!!!

    1. Hi Jim,
      I hope you are having a nice weekend 🙂 First, make sure that you have open body language (don’t cross your arms and point your chest towards her) then look her in the eyes, smile and say hello. This will make her feel safe and comfortable. After that it really depends on the situation and the person. If you are at a bar, and she has a cocktail, ask her what it is, and if she has any suggestions on what you should order. If there is a band playing, comment on the band and ask her if she likes it and if she knows any other cool bars with live music. Basically, start with something you have in common, ask her advice if you can, and then go from there.
      Let me know if I can be of any more help.

    2. Hey Jim,
      I used to be the same way, my heart would race and I would have a tremble in my voice. So I started looking at what she was wearing and complimented her on that or said just as I was passin by would say ” hey, you look great today” and leave it open for conversation

  1. hello maam,I just wonder if you can help me or give some advice to about a french guy, he is for London, uk.. The thing is he doesn’t speak English, so I always COPY AND PASTE to GOOGLE TRANSLATOR the things that i want to say to him.Its hard for me to keep up with the good conversation because i don’t know how to speak french but still im studying french now. Maam? How can i make good conversation with this french guy??

    1. Hi Michelle,
      I’m happy to hear that you met someone special. Does he know that you don’t speak French yet, but you are learning? He should be pretty understanding if you aren’t very fast and you make mistakes. Actually I think he should be flattered that you are learning his language in order to communicate with him (what a compliment!). Do you have any plans to meet him in person? I would suggest that you at least schedule a short Skype call with him as soon as you have a basic level of French. On a side note, I don’t understand the fact he is in London but doesn’t speak English? He must speak some English. Maybe he’s just shy. See if you can chat with him even before you have a basic level of French.
      Good luck!

  2. Hey I need your help I’m a rookie when it comes to relationships only had one before and it didn’t end well. Fast forward I got a date on Tuesday and this texting thing aint going well. I’m running out of things to say I throw in a meme or two here and there a few questions. But it feels stale I feel like I’m the only one leading a half dead conversation. I dont know how to flirt through text and the convo has became so dead we dont text for hours then I have to try again. What do I do I’m really stressed out ?

    1. Hi Derek,
      It’s nice to hear from you! The key to flirting is to not overdo it, or to try and flirt when you aren’t in the mood. If the conversation is stale, then don’t keep sending messages. You don’t (and shouldn’t) over text in the beginning of a relationship. It’s easier to flirt when you know the person better and have some shared history (multiple dates). In the beginning of a relationship, you can:
      – add an emoticon to an otherwise dry message (women like emoticons 🙂
      – come up with a cute name for her based on something she likes or you did together during your date
      – compliment her on something genuine and specific
      – bring up something from your date and create an inside joke “next time…”
      Send me an email if you would like more ideas. Good luck!

  3. Hi claudia ,
    i found someone from chat and he is from Tajikistan , we had good conversation,he is a good looking guy, he is very sweet and funny to talk.. he speak english but not so much, he says that my english is more good than him. We talked like we have know each other so long when in fact, we just meet in chat for at least 30 minutes. He already says a lot of stuff like he like me. a part of me felt flattered so i told him that i like him too..he calls me “my love”and he says im his girlfriend and then for 5 hours that we communicate the sweetness is still there until now.. can you advice me something about this maam??Is he serious about this?? Do you have an idea about the culture of a Tajikistan guy?? what are the signs that they have fall in love to a girl?


    1. Hi Ann,
      It’s nice to hear from you! 🙂 It sounds like he really enjoys chatting with you…BUT if you have never met in person, and have only chatted a few times, I wouldn’t fall for him just yet (nor think of myself as his girlfriend). Do you live far away from him? Is there any possibility that you could eventually meet up? If not, I would think of him as more of a friend and try to meet other guys that you can speak to face to face.

  4. Hi Claudia,
    I’m wondering if you can help me out. My boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch, we’ve barely texted. And when we do, it’s very brief and not very assuring. He doesn’t compliment me anymore either, how do I make the conversation cute and loving again? I’m not the best at conversation starters..


    1. Hi Sashi,
      I’m sorry to hear that you have hit a rough patch with your boyfriend. Try sending him a cute message just letting him know that you are thinking about him such as, “I can’t wait to be cozy in your arms again” or “just thinking of you…nothing new here :)” and then see what he replies. If he starts warming up, compliment him on something specific and genuine. For example, is he a gym rat? Let him know that you noticed his newly ripped bod. “Keep hitting the gym like that and you’re going to need to buy new clothes…looking pretty tasty :)” Once again, see what he replies. Hopefully changing the tone of the conversation from negative and mundane to fun and flirty will get him back on track too. If you see that he is still brief and not invested, talk to him in person. Texting is never a good choice for talking about serious stuff.

  5. hi claudia,
    can u help me on wht to text to a girl tht i like i have been texting her but now i am running out of idea n i am week on this kind of thing cuz i am really bad on starting a conversation to a girl

    1. Hi Bryan,
      It is really nice to hear from you! 🙂 Depending on how well you know her, I would either ask her a specific question about something that is happening in her life, or send her a sweet/funny text message such as “get back to work/studying and stop thinking about me :)”. If you tell me a bit more about her and your relationship I can give you some more ideas.

  6. hi I’ve been talking to a girl for a month now and kissed her but she left for vacation, im not at the point where I’m comfortable so we snap and we Facebook message,here’s my problem I send her messages while she’s active but she doesn’t open them but I see her active for a while then goes away and comes back she doesn’t reply for hrs and when she does it’s a simple text I feel like she’s losing interest since she left and she way return for 15 more days. same goes with snap her points keep going up but she doesn’t open it for a while she knows it’s there what’s going on its driving me crazy and I don’t want to push her away by asking,but I can’t sit here and think I’m being played.

    1. Hi John,
      Definitely don’t ask her if she is playing with you or not. That would be a huge mistake. Have you gone back and looked at some of the messages you exchanged with her in the beginning of your relationship (when she was responding quickly and you were having fun flirting)? How have your messages evolved? Have your messages become mundane or negative? If you notice that the vibe has changed, send her a compliment, or tease her. If she still seems to ignore you, then ignore her too. Go out and meet new people (including new girls) and then ask to meet up with her in person when she gets back from vacation.


    1. Hi Ayodeji,
      It is nice to hear from you! If you want to make her fall in love with you, then be a good listener. Be genuinely interested in what she tells you. Ask questions. Remember specifics and make her feel special and adored…Don’t wait too long to meet her in person. You never know if you will truly like someone until you can see them, touch them and smell them (odor plays a huge role in attraction)

  8. I like this girl cause at first she was texting back to back and wanted to video chat and all and then the next day I played the game and did not pay her attention on the video chat and she does not text me quick or even video chat with me no more help what to do

    1. Hi Taekwon,
      Have you apologized to her yet for ignoring her? If not, I would call her, leave a voice message, or send her a text and tell her that you are sorry for being so distracted the last time you video chatted. Then, I would set up a new time to chat with her…and this time be 100% present.
      Good luck!

  9. Ok so we have been texting and talking and she makes post of it and told me before she still has feelings for her ex so I feel like before we even get into a real deep relationship she might want him back I don’t know how to fix it

    1. Unfortunately you can’t “fix” her having feelings for her ex. Have you recently spoken to her about it? If not, then definitely ask her before getting too involved. If she says “yes” then believe her and invest yourself in another relationship…

  10. Hi I’m speaking to a girl I like, and have been speaking to her for a week and the convosations are getting dry, I’m running out of stuff to talk about please help ASAP

    1. Hi Sam,
      Have you sent her some funny photos? Complimented her on something specific? Teased her? Have you played any texting games? You could try one of my favorite texting games, Quick Fire. Send her a message with “the rules” – I’m going to send 5 questions and you have to pick one answer from each question. The questions could be anything, such as “heels or flats”, “bath or shower”, “eyes open or closed”.
      Let me know if you need any more ideas.

  11. I need some advice on keeping a conversation going between dates. Me and this girl went on a date and it was great, she wants to go again. I am having a tough time keeping the interest going in between and don’t want to get over attached. Me and her talk regularly but she always takes a few hours to respond. Can I e-mail our conversation for help or any pointers or conversation topics?


  12. Hello Claudia,
    I need a few advice from you. Because i have a friend on Fb, but not totally close, I just chat her, but she is so very moody girl! (Take note: we have not met yet in person). So, what is your exactly and good advice for me? And to get her attention on me in the chat?… Thanks

    1. Hi Mr. Charlee,
      It’s nice to hear from you! 🙂 I would do a few things – first of all, I would ask her a few positive (nothing negative), open ended questions about something that you know she is interested in (music, sports, travel, etc.) These questions shouldn’t be too difficult for her to answer (something that wouldn’t require her to write 2000 words). Then, I would playfully ask her to meet up. “Ready to meet, or are you still Googling me? :)” followed by a place and activity that you think she would like.

  13. Hey, have been talking to a girl that goes to a different school over snapchat for a week or Two now. Should I ask here to hang out? What should my next move be?

    1. Merry Christmas Doug! Yes, definitely ask her to hang out in person so you can see if you have chemistry or not…otherwise she will just become a “snapchat pal”. Don’t make the first time you meet up a big deal – try an activity type of date and then take it from there if you like her and she likes you.
      Bisous, Claudia

  14. Hi there. So me and my male friend have been texting quite a bit lately. The only thing is he has a girlfriend. We have been texting gif/memes to one another and the nature of them are very sexual and graphic. It’s not directed at sexual activity with one but about the other person havig sexual activity with someone we know but in a way that annoys the other person. The whole nature of it is that it’s a game and the more of an jokey/attack the more someone is winning. For example “this is how you got the job” then a gif of a man and woman carrying out foreplay. Basically i just want to know what this means? Does it mean anything? Am I reading too much into this? I like him and he messages me these things a lot. It’s been non stop for the past week. Any advice or insight would be helpful! Thank you.

    1. Hi Sophie,
      Hmmmm I wouldn’t read too much into this, and I wouldn’t intentionally make the conversation sexual (because he has a girlfriend). I would try to keep things friendly (and not send those type of gif/memes). Stay friends with him and if one day he’s single, then go for it.

      1. Hi Claudia, thank you for getting back to me. I know I shouldn’t over analyse it however he has initiated this kind of conversation not me. I am guilty in responding with the same messages. But as I say they aren’t directly about doing anything with one another. So I just want to know if what he is doing is normal? It’s sexual jokey gifs about one another involved with people we know though I guess we are talking about sex x

        1. Hi there,
          I wouldn’t say that you are guilty in any way, I just wouldn’t get into a sexual text conversation with a guy who has a girlfriend…because you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s hard to say if he likes you or if he’s just playing around because he’s a guy and he thinks it’s funny (and he thinks that you think it’s funny). Like I said, I would move on until he is single…

      2. Hi there thanks for your response.

        It is him that initiated this type of conversation.

        I just want to know if this could mean he likes me?

  15. Hi umm I’m dating this beautiful girl right now and whenever we text like sometimes we’ll have tons to talk about and other times we will but then I’ll die and then we’ll just be stuck saying “ok” and “yeah” for a few minutes and then I’ll have to come up with something and times where I don’t know what to say she says “bye” and it really scares me and I feel like she’s gonna brake up with me cause I’m super boring and have nothing to text, cause I really like this girl and I don’t wanna lose her cause of my boring text I wanna know how I can get better

    1. Hey there,
      I’m so happy to hear that you met someone you really like! Here are some ideas:
      1. Before you text her again, think about some of her favorite topics – is she into sports, music, travel? Then come up with some questions, or find some photos that you could send if the conversation starts to lull.
      2. Use inside jokes in your text messages – funny things that happened when you were together. Make her laugh.
      3. Compliment her – tell her something genuine and specific that you like about her.
      And probably the most important thing of all – don’t feel like you have to spend hours and hours texting her every day. Be the first one to say “good bye” if you feel like you don’t have anything to say. Seduction is all about leaving the other person wanting more…

  16. I like this guy and he says he likes me, but we honestly talk on the phone and we don’t have really anything to say. Either I’m putting effort n it , and he’s just replying lol ok 🙁 like what am I supposed to possibly say to that?

    1. Hi Nia,
      That’s a tough one…do you have any common interests? Music? Sports? Or even friends? What do you guys talk about in person? Some guys aren’t really very gabby on the phone, so keep it short. However if he continues to not put any effort into communicating with you, either call him out on it (in a teasing way), or move on to another guy. After all, one way conversations get old quickly.
      Sending tons of positive energy your way!
      xx Claudia

  17. Hi, so I like this guy. We have known each other for a year and we are really good friends. At first he was like, “Your like my little sister” then the next text he’s calling me cutie? We hang out like, 6 times every week. I really like him but I have no idea how to get him to like me back. And the text always ends with something neither of us know how to respond to. Can you help me?

    1. Hi Carter,
      How does he act when you hang out? Is he flirty? Or does he act like a brother and talk about other girls? If he is flirty then you could heat things up by complimenting how he looks – you looked “pretty hot” in your new shirt – just saying 🙂 Or extra buff (if he’s been working out). These are flirty messages, but not over the top. You could also send him a couple of photos of yourself dressed up before going out, asking him which outfit he prefers (your goal is just to make him think – wow, she looks amazing – this works well as guys are visual 🙂

      1. Well It depends on the day. Sometimes he is very flirty then the next day he acts like a brother and asks about what he should do about a girl he likes. I have been complimenting him but it never does anything. It usually just ends with thanks. And I’ll try sending him pictures.

  18. Hi Claudia Bisous, How’s your day? 🙂
    I would like to hear an advice from you, I’ve been texting with this girl 3 days ago I troubled making interesting topics making me boring, We never met, I would like to know how to make her comfortable with me and so that I can ask her out.

    1. Hey there,
      Have you taken a look at her FB page? Try and find out what she likes – music, film, travel and then bring up a similar topic. After you have chatted with her for a while (and she feels safe), ask her to meet you face to face with something light like: “you have a way with words…are you this charming in person? I’d love to find out :)”

  19. Hello coach i have a probleme can u help me pls in college i have my girl classmate i don’t know if she loves me or not i want some tips to know without saying i am really fear if she acts she touch me call me with my name walking with me after school talk to me about marriage she say may you married she ask me for keys of exercices give me a signals body language like she touch her hair eye contact she’s sheying she gives me biscuit hh she tell me about her all life thats all i want make the first move but i am fear to reject me she like my posts at fb et merci bcp pour tous .

    1. Hey there,
      From everything you have told me, it sounds as if she likes you…but you will never know before you make the first move. So, I would ask her to do something (where you can be alone). Then, touch her arm while you are speaking, sit close to her, put your hand on her back when you help her out the door and then take her hand while you are walking (of course stop if you sense she is not enjoying it). Finally…go for the kiss 🙂

  20. Thanks coach but she’s with someone else text him in a statut say like this oh mon cherie ma cherie c comme ca and a boy in our college he tell me she is with someone else

  21. my girlfriend says am a bore when it comes to texting her, and another thing we are in a long distance relationship ,how can i make the conversation not boring

    1. Hey there,
      I would try mixing up the types of messages you send (flirty, sweet and funny) as well as what you send (photos, videos, voice messages and text messages) as well as when you send them (morning, noon and night). The other main thing – ask questions that don’t take hours to answer and just have fun!

    1. Hey Jason,
      If you have seen her profile on Social Media, then I would start with something sweet, show interest in things she is interested in – try to create a connection and then end with a question. You could write: “Cute smile, bet you have a great laugh 🙂 I see that you like traveling, have you been to Corsica yet?”

  22. Hi Claudia,

    I asked a girl how to approach girls on social media and she told me the tips and she was very nice and we have been talking for about 4 days now and I wanna meet up n see her face to face but I don’t know how to ask her.
    Any tips?


    1. Hey Manny,
      I would keep it light and either text something like “I’m dying for some ice-cream, want to join? My treat :)” or “Ready to meet, or are you still Googling me? :)”
      Hope it goes well!
      xx Claudia

  23. Hi there,
    So recently I’ve started speaking to this girl on snpachat who I know nothing about we just seen each others insta and I’m really bad at speaking over thugs like this and I need some help to keep her interested and keep convo flowing

    1. Hey Toby,
      If you are only just getting to know her, ask her questions about stuff she’s posting on insta. For example, if she posts a photo of her chocolate cake, ask her what her favorite dessert is, then tell her about yours. Asking questions about things you know she is interested in is a great place to start, because she will probably keep the conversation going for you 🙂

      1. Hi again
        So I’m really struggling here with like how to flirt and stuff but it’s early stages so I’m not sure about it but really need help. Sorry if I’m asking for too much.

        1. Hi Toby, The key to flirting is to keep it light, positive and short (leave her wanting more – meaning don’t have a 2 hour chat with her). Asking questions and making specific compliments are always a good idea – like I mentioned, ask her about things in her photos or posts. If you like something, tell her, but don’t just write “you are beautiful”. For example, if she has a photo of herself sky jumping, write “you looked pretty cute jumping out of a plane…and that’s hard to do!”
          Please send me an email if I can be of more help.

  24. Hello..
    Actually I like a girl from Computer Science department(I am from mechanical department). I see her like every day. I want to talk to her but I don’t know what to talk on and if she has even noticed me yet. I tried messaging her on Instagram but like after 2 texts she blocked me on it. Please help me with it.

    1. Hi Mike,
      If she blocked you on Instagram, then you should try and create a connection with her face to face before messaging her again. If you see her everyday then go up to her and introduce yourself and then ask her a question – for example ask her about an end of the year event, or ask her where something is or something to do with sports, etc (you need to be creative and make it seem genuine). The most important thing that you can do is make eye contact, smile and just start out slowly. If you see her every day then you have time…
      Good luck!
      Bisous x

  25. Im confident but when it comes to striking up a convo in real life with girls, i get scared and start sweating. how do i start the convo?

    1. Hi Manny,
      I would first concentrate on my breathing (take a few deep breaths before you approach her), then, don’t over think your opening line – look her in the eye, smile and say hello. If she seems interested in chatting with you, talk about something you have in common and then move on to more specific things about her.

  26. Hi Claudia.
    I’m on this online dating site. Talking to someone for couple days now. I’m always leading the conversation. She giving me boring replies. She keeps using Hahaha in front of every sentence.
    I asked her about her zodiac sign what she does for a living. Please give me some questions I can ask her to spice the conversation. I really hate being the only one asking questions x-x. Thanks for helping me

    1. Hi Tyler,
      Ask her what she likes to do in her free time – does she like sports? shopping? cultural stuff (such as museums and concerts)? does she travel? what’s her favorite dessert? her favorite vacation ever? All of these are positive things, and they allow you to get to know her. The best is if you set the questions up naturally. For example, you could tell her about something you like to do on your free time and then ask her. Or you could tell her that you are trying to figure out where to go on vacation this year – what’s her favorite spot, and why?
      Bisous x

  27. Hi Claudia,
    Thanks for the help.I have another question that doesn’t involve texting. How would you like to be approach in real life? How can I ask a total stranger I find attractive for her number.

    1. Hi Tyler,
      First, make eye contact and then smile a warm genuine smile. Then, break the ice and start building her trust by asking her a few questions about herself to show that you are interested in her. Easy on the personal questions such as “where do you live”, “where do you work”, “how old are you?”, “what’s your religion?” The goal is to create trust, not interview her for a job or freak her out. After you have chatted for awhile, tell her you need to leave and then say something like: “Hey, this has been fun. I’ve gotta run, but I’d love to continue talking about ___ another time. Let me grab your number….” (make sure you have your phone out). Smile, leave and then follow up via text or phone.
      Voila! 🙂
      Good luck!

  28. Hi Claudia,
    I met this girl from another school that’s a bit older than me and i really like her. We talk on Snapchat but our conversations die pretty quickly and i don’t know what to say to her. We both do track and I asked her questions about it and we got to know each other about running. Can you please help me?

    1. Hi Sebas,
      I’m happy to hear that you met someone you really like 🙂 Keep asking her questions – for example about the best thing that happened during her day, what type of music she likes, if she could be anywhere right now, where would she be? What is her biggest dream? Compliment her – for example on how motivated she is to be a good runner, her contagious smile, or her positive attitude. Send her things that you think she might be interested in – like your favorite music when you run, quotes and funny/inspiring photos.
      Use your imagination and try sending her something that YOU would like to receive.
      Send me an email if I can help!

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