How to keep the spark in a relationship alive goes much deeper than just flowers on Valentine’s Day. It’s about surprising each other on a more day to day basis! So don’t be surprised if some of the things you find in this article are a little… surprising.
1. Don’t Compare Your Partner To Other People
Yes, it’s crazy to think that you can ignore every single attractive person of the opposite sex that crosses your path.
But noticing and comparing are two entirely different “beasts”.
Comparison usually results from a problem in your current relationship. After a fight, you look at a cute bartender, the barista who draws hearts on your cup, or your ridiculously hot ‘friend’ (whom you assure your partner you have absolutely zero attraction for), and then what do you do? You compare that person with your partner.
It can seem innocent. The problem is that you can’t know how they compare. So you take your best guess and end up tilting the scales in their favor: “I’m sure they wouldn’t care if I left the toilet seat up. Or, I know they would buy me flowers “just because”.
The end result? Even further dissatisfaction with your actual partner.
Instead of comparing, try talking about problems or frustrations. It will help you grow closer, and is a step in the right direction for how to keep the spark in your relationships alive (instead of creating negative feelings of disdain for your partner).
2. Spend Some Time Apart
The problem with spending too much time together is that it smothers your spark! The spark in a relationship is just that – a spark. It won’t become a flame without some air.
Spending time apart to pursue your own interests is essential to long-term relationship success. You grow to appreciate the other person even more when you’re together – and you don’t end up resenting each other for the things you’ve missed out on.
Best of all, you don’t fall into the dreaded relationship purgatory of having nothing to talk about besides work and what you ate for lunch.
3. Never Stop Dating
Too many people think of dating the wrong way. It isn’t just about finding someone. It’s about getting to know someone better!
When you stop getting to know your partner, they stop being exciting. It’s like putting a book on a shelf. You keep it around because you like what’s inside, but you aren’t really getting any enjoyment out of it!
You should keep dating your partner for the same reason you reread your favorite books: you notice new things each time. Seeing your partner in new situations reveals fun and surprising things…and being surprised is always sexy. Result? Spark ignited.
4. Don’t Be Naked All The Time
Sex is the bedrock of any good relationship. And being comfortable with your naked body when you aren’t having sex is important too. But that doesn’t mean you need to always be naked around each other.
Being naked around each other all the time kills the mystery that keeps sex interesting. And you begin to associate more and more bad experiences with your naked or semi-naked bodies:
That time you argued while getting ready for a party. That time you got into bed naked after stinking up the bathroom. That time you argued about the hair in the shower drain…
Each one of these situations diminishes the “Sex is about to happen!” excitement you get from seeing each other naked. Eventually it might happen that you just don’t get as turned on by seeing your partner naked. And then you both start wearing nightgowns. Definitely NOT how to keep the spark in a relationship alive!
So exercise a little bit of common sense. Don’t think it’d be a good idea to be naked? Don’t be!
5. Don’t Stop Doing The Little Things
It’s on every listicle you’ve ever read for a reason – it’s good advice.
How to keep the spark in a relationship alive often comes down to doing the little, practical…nice things.
Cook breakfast before they wake up, run an errand for them so they can see their best friend who’s in town, or do the laundry when it’s not even your turn.
What else can you do? Remember specific things they share with you – like the name of their favorite local band, or something special that they are dying to try. Use this precious information for future activities… or even simple conversations.
How To Keep The Spark In A Relationship Alive In A Nutshell
When you put the effort into a relationship, your partner can’t help but reciprocate. And if you’re both putting your all into making it work, well, you will no longer be left wondering how to keep the spark in a relationship.