Difficulties with communication are common in relationships in general and in long distance relationships these difficulties are only exacerbated. When you can’t see your partner’s expression or physically touch them as a method of reassurance or affection, it can be difficult to get the message across. Communication becomes stressful. For example:
Is it ok if you don’t talk for a few days?
How many times can you say I miss you before it becomes pointless and annoying?
What’s the virtual equivalent of a warm hug or kiss?
Finding the right balance is key to resolving the issues of communication. However, it’s important to remember that a relationship will always be evolving and changing. Being open to these changes is just as important as discussing them.
Meet More Than Their Screens
As you know, texting is a really simple way to instantly communicate with your partner, and when it comes to long distance relationships this immediate connection is important. However, texting should never be your primary method of communication – don’t let your relationship become a “textationship”.
Keep The Connection Strong With Text Dates
Connection is a key ingredient in relationships. How many times have you heard people say:
“We just connected, straight away.”
I just didn’t feel the connection anymore…
In long-term relationships it can be difficult to retain this connection when the daily grind of life takes over, and in long distance relationships it’s even harder.
So, how can you hold on to the connection:
– When there’s no more long nights of staying up wayyyyyy too late binge watching TV shows or re-watching your favorite movies?
– When lazy Sunday breakfasts and the wild Saturday nights are distant memories?
– When suddenly you have separate lives, with separate friends and separate needs?
Two words: text date.
– Curl up on your respective couches and watch a movie or a TV show that you both enjoy and text each other little comments.
– Try new Sunday brunch recipes together, either by phone or video.
– Introduce your friends to your partner via Skype and send photos of your activities together.
It might not replace a real date. But, it’s a cute, fun way to keep your connection strong.
Use Technology When You’re Missing Their Touch
The lack of physical interaction is often challenging for many long distance couples. Many would argue that without this physicality a romantic relationship is nothing more than a friendship. However, true intimacy is far more than just physically being able to touch each other.
So, here comes the fun bit 🙂
Use text messages as a method to keep that fire burning between you. There are two key things you need to consider when sending flirty text messages; timing and content.
Don’t send your love a flirty text at a time when you know they will be fighting through the throngs of commuters on their way home from work. Instead, wait until they’re all cozy at home, settling in for another boring night. Your message will provide a much needed energy and passion boost at this moment.
In terms of content keep it light, funny, and full of sexual innuendos. Think back to past romantic romps, future plans, or share some sexy fantasies. The sky is the limit. Just make sure that you are careful not to push your partner outside their comfort zone.
Here are a few examples of long distance flirting to get your creative juices flowing:
“I had the naughtiest dream about you last night …”
“Just bought a new mirror…I think you’ll like where I put it ;)”
Stop Jealousy And Paranoia In It’s Tracks
Texting is also your knight in shining armor to help you combat jealously. Suddenly your partner is out living a life that you are not involved in. They probably have new friends, new interests and maybe picked up new hobbies. All of these things increase feelings of jealousy and paranoia.
Feeling jealous when your partner is out and about having fun without you is a natural emotion. And guess what? If you feel jealous, they probably feel jealous too!
While the emotion you feel is uncontrollable, your interpretation of this emotion and how you choose to act is under your control. So, before you lash out via text…Stop.
All serious issues should always be addressed face-to-face. Never via text.
How how to reassure your girlfriend through text (or boyfriend for that matter)? Be transparent about your plans and activities. Don’t keep secrets from him or her. If you typically speak at 5pm on Thursday nights, but you have after work drinks planned with colleagues, let them know. Don’t leave them in the dark wondering why you aren’t calling.
Pop Some Confidence In Your Relationship
Instead of fighting by text, use texting to add a little dose of confidence and positive vibes to your relationship.
For example, if you’re going on a big night out with your friends and are spending time posting photos on Instagram and Twitter, then you have time to send a little message to your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything long or special. You don’t even need to do the sappy “I miss you so much, wish you were here.”
Give them a causal update about where you are and what you doing. Make some effort to include them in the occasion, e.g.
“Out with the girls tonight. Found a bar that serves the best cocktails ever. I’ll take you next time you visit.”
Reducing the feelings of jealousy and the repercussions that come with it is all about making your partner feel like they are included even when they’re far way. Make your partner feel confident that they are still number one.
Find A Healthy Way to Balance Independence and Togetherness
Long-distance relationships often allow for a lot of personal growth and independence. Discuss the balance between maintaining your individual life and your shared life as a couple. Make sure that your partner understands what is important to you – be it spending time with friends and family, hobbies or volunteering.
Have a plan for how you will continue to pursue your personal goals, and also include your partner in your activities and vice versa. Once again, open and honest communication is the best way to make sure you on track for building your ideal life together.
Address Friends & Family Concerns Together
Many long distance couples are faced with concerns from their friends and family who may not understand or support the long-distance relationship. Over time this can really wear on even the strongest couple.
But, if you openly communicate with your partner, together you can come up with a winning plan on how to handle their concerns. Have they met your long distance partner? If not, plan a visit and make sure everyone is introduced. Do they think you are wasting precious time in a dead end long distance relationship? Reassure them that you do in fact have a plan. Which brings me to the next topic – goal setting.
Set Common Goals
What is another way to keep the passion alive? Making sure you are on the same page as far as life goals. You can do this by making sure you are in sync with some common goals and you have a plan in place for eventually living in the same location. This can give both of you something to look forward to and work towards. It’s also an additional texting conversation topic.
For example, did you start a side hustle and bank a few grand? Send your partner a message letting them know that you are one step closer to your future together.
Long distance relationships don’t have to be a noose around your neck. We’re lucky enough to live in a society where instant communication is possible and you can easily learn how to text like a pro – long distance style. Take full advantage of the pwer of your cell phone, and keep in mind the reasons you are together in the first place.