Trying to figure out how to flirt with a guy in person is hard enough, but working out how to flirt with a guy over text is a complete minefield. Especially if it’s a guy you just met! Should you use emoji’s? If so, how many? Should you send a racy pic? What’s the best tone? Sexy, sweet or humorous?

All of these questions are probably racing through your mind as your fingers hover over the keyboard. Luckily, there is a way around this. Read on for some fabulously flirty tips on how to flirt with a guy over text, and just as importantly, what not to do.

  1. Exude Originality

Avoid cliché’s as if your life depends on it. Everything you say should be formed from your own personal brand of uniqueness. You’re hot, you’re successful and the fact that there is potential for flirting in the first place is pretty indicative that the guy is into you, so make sure you show him why! There is only one of you so, don’t try to be someone else.

  1. Make it Funny

Granted, this is easier said than done, but everyone has a comedian lurking somewhere deep down inside them. Try to reference a previous conversation and add a funny spin to it. Make a clever observation about something weird and wonderful you saw on your way to work. Flirting in general is primarily focused around humor, and text flirting is no different. Approach flirty text messages the same way as you would flirt in person.

  1. Ask a Question

Questions make connections. Keep your questions simple and remember things they share with you. There’s no need to delve into the deep recesses of their unconscious mind. Instead, show them that you are actually interested in their life.

  1. Be Mysterious

How can you be a little mysterious? Keep your cool (even if he is a total babe). Don’t come on too strong and send wayyyy too many messages that contain wayyyy too much personal information. Hold some cards back and be casual. Desperation is never sexy.

  1. Demonstrate Your Intelligence

For a lot of people, it’s very difficult to communicate the nuances of speech and conversation through text, and using abbreviated slang makes this even more difficult. Text in the same way that you would talk. Don’t end every sentence with a ‘HaHa’ or the dreaded ‘HeHe’. If you’re not actually laughing out loud in real life don’t lie. However, if you are, actually tell them you’re laughing e.g. ‘ I’m still giggling.’ And one last thing –” ty” doesn’t hit the same way as “thank you”.

Understanding Flirting Over Text

Flirting over text can be a fun and exciting way to connect with someone, but it does come with its own set of challenges. Without the benefit of tone and facial expressions, your words need to do all the heavy lifting. Confidence, authenticity, and respect are your best friends here. A good flirty text should be light-hearted, playful, and show genuine interest in the other person. Remember, flirting should be fun for both parties, so keep it respectful and be mindful of the other person’s feelings and boundaries. Respect their time and schedule, and you’ll find that your text conversations can be just as engaging as face-to-face interactions.

Starting a Flirtatious Conversation

Kicking off a flirtatious conversation over text doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, a simple playful message or a sweet compliment can do the trick. You could start with a question like, “What’s your favorite sound?” or reminisce about a fun time you had together, “I had a great time last night, want to do it again soon?” The key is to be creative and genuine. Keep your messages short and sweet, and pay attention to how he responds. A lighthearted comment or a funny joke can also break the ice and set the tone for a fun conversation.

Flirting Techniques

When it comes to flirting techniques over text, humor and playfulness are your best allies. A well-timed joke or a clever observation can make your messages stand out. Compliments and flattery are also effective, as long as they’re sincere. Don’t be afraid to show a bit of vulnerability; sharing your thoughts and feelings can create a deeper connection. For instance, you might text, “I have to admit, I’ve been thinking about you all day,” or “I feel like we really connect, want to meet up soon?” The key is to be sincere and respectful, making sure your messages reflect genuine interest in the other person.

Timing and Frequency of Messages

The timing and frequency of your messages can make a big difference in how your flirting is received. Striking the right balance between too many messages and not enough is crucial. You want to keep him interested and engaged without coming on too strong. A good rule of thumb is to send a message or two per day and space them out to avoid overwhelming him. Use the timing of your messages to build anticipation and excitement. For example, a text like “Can’t wait to see you tonight” or “Looking forward to our next date” can create a sense of eagerness and keep the conversation lively.

Reading His Responses

Reading his responses is an essential part of flirting over text. Pay close attention to his tone, language, and level of engagement. If he’s responding quickly and with enthusiasm, it’s a good sign he’s interested. On the other hand, if his responses are slow or lackluster, he might not be as into it. Use his responses to gauge his interest and adjust your approach accordingly. If he’s sending flirtatious messages, feel free to escalate the conversation and be more playful. If his messages are more serious, tone down the flirting and focus on building a genuine connection. This way, you can keep the conversation fun and engaging for both of you.

Pitfalls To Avoid When Learning How To Flirt With a Guy over Flirty Texts

Now we’re going to take a peek at the flip side of the coin, because understanding what you need to avoid is just as important as pinpointing what you should be communicating.

  1. Don’t Self Deprecate

Sometimes when the nerves kick in and you’re worried about what someone thinks about you, it’s oh so easy to put yourself down. Don’t do it. Remember, flirting is all about showcasing your best points. Build yourself up, not put yourself down.

  1. Don’t Overdo the Emoji’s

Emojis are great, but if you’re ending every message with a winky face, stop. You should be able to portray the meaning of your message through words alone, if you need to use emoji’s to clarify the tone of each and every message, and then start again.

  1. Don’t Take it Too Seriously

Flirting should be fun and exciting, so try not to read too much into it. The dreaded ‘speak to you later’ does not need to fill you with fear. If you’re spending all day wondering what “later” means, then you’re doing it all wrong. You’ll end up driving everyone crazy; yourself, your girlfriends, and probably even the guy you are trying to flirt with.

Next time you find yourself face to face with your blank cell phone screen trying to compose flirty text messages to send to a guy you like, remember these tips and have fun!

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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