You’re not his therapist – but you do like him. So, how to text an emotionally unavailable man?
Men who don’t like to share emotions aren’t easy to deal with. They can be closed off and impossible to read, all of which makes forming a deeper connection with them kinda hard.
Fortunately, you don’t need to send him texts that will either push him away or make you come across as needy. In this article, we’ll be showing you the different ways you can text an emotionally unavailable man so that you’re able to get a bit closer to him and deepen your relationship.
But first …
Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man
Before you start texting him some more, take a step back and analyze the situation. Here are some key signs to look out for:
He never talks about his feelings. If you’ve tried your best to get him to open up about his feelings and emotions but he constantly keeps them locked up, it’s a huge sign that he doesn’t want to share things with you.
He hasn’t introduced you to his family or close friends. Emotionally unavailable men will do all they can to keep you at a distance so that he doesn’t become attached. This includes making sure you don’t meet those who are closest to him.
He’s never been in a long-term relationship. Uh-oh. The biggest sign of an emotionally unavailable man is one who’s never lasted longer than a few months in a relationship.
He doesn’t seem keen to grow the relationship. You might be eager to take things to the next level – but he doesn’t seem keen. He’s noncommittal about your future, doesn’t express an interest in romance and seems happy with the way things are right now.
How To Text An Emotionally Unavailable Man
It’s frustrating when your man takes ages to text back. You might text him in the morning and he still hasn’t replied by late afternoon.
Don’t take this personally. He isn’t ignoring you because he doesn’t like you – he’s taking his time because this is just the way he is right now. It might even be the case that he has some things in his head that he needs to sort out.
Understand that his emotional unavailability may stem from past experiences or personal challenges. Patience is key.
Respect His Boundaries
It’s probably no surprise that an emotionally unavailable man may have limitations when it comes to intimacy.
So, how does this translate into your texting behavior? One easy way is to avoid pressuring him to open up or share more than he feels comfortable with.
Give him the space he needs to process his emotions at his own pace.
“Hi Rick, I know that it’s been a difficult time. Just wanted you to know that I’m always here. Take all the time you need.”
Don’t Nag Him
Speaking of pace…if he hasn’t responded to you for a while and you decide to play the blame game, you might push him away.
If you say things like “I hate when you never text lol” or “why do you take so long to reply?” it’s only going to put pressure on him – and he will hate it.
He will reply, but only when he’s ready. If you start to pressure him or question him on why he takes so long, he might quicken the pace but he’ll be annoyed and upset.
Just take it easy and don’t call him out on slow responses. Take your mind off your phone by going for a walk, calling a friend or picking up a new hobby.
Be His Friend
If you can see that he’s going through a tough time – use your texts to offer him support.
In other words, be his friend.
For example, you could ask him if he’s doing okay or that you just wanted to check in on him because he didn’t seem himself the last time you saw him.
Make sure to let him know he can reach out to you if he needs help, too. Even just a simple “I’m here for you,” can go a long way.
You can also let him know that you enjoy spending time with him and he has a special place in your life
“Hey Peter, I had a great time yesterday, thank you for organizing everything! You’re the best! So, have you ever tried wake boarding? 😊”
Empathize With Him
If you ever feel like starting an argument with him via text, the first thing to do is to take a step back. Arguing with an emotionally unavailable man via text will always end badly.
But if there’s something you really want to discuss, you can use phrases like “I know it’s hard for you (it’s hard for me too) but I need to know how you feel about this.”
Avoid Playing Games
If you want to win with an emotionally unavailable man, the last thing you should do is play games with him via text. If you’re hot one minute and cold the next, it will mess with his head and prompt him to text you even less.
Be straight and upfront with the way you text him and be consistent. Ask yourself whether the way you’re texting him could be the reason he’s being so distant. If you can reply to his texts, reply to them. Don’t wait and take ages just because you want to punish him for whatever reason.
Should You Stick By An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
Knowing how to text an emotionally unavailable man is a bit of a minefield. But is it even worth it? When should you carry on making an effort … and when should you cut your losses and walk away?
First, it’s always important to put yourself first. If texting him is mentally draining and causes you too much stress, worry and anxiety, it might be time to either take a break or give up altogether.
Second, if you’ve reached a point where you’re so scared of texting him because you fear a negative reaction, it’s another sign that now might be a time to step away.
On the other hand, if you know that in your heart of hearts you love this man and feel strongly that he’s worth your time and effort, you need to lean into empathy first and foremost. Accept that he is emotionally unavailable and that this has nothing to do with you. This will then help you to be more patient and, over time, you can get into his state of mind and understand his needs and wants.
More than anything, you will need to be ready for setbacks. If he takes a while to reply to your texts, accept that this is the way he is. Don’t bombard him with texts, don’t seek answers and don’t push him too far. Show understanding, care and love. If he loves you back, he will be grateful for your patience and resilience, and a healthy relationship can grow.