If you’ve been texting for days and days (or maybe even weeks) and there’s still no sign of an actual “staring into each other’s eyes) date on the horizon, you need to act. Some guys are hopeless over text, and have no idea when it’s the opportune time to ask a girl out. He might be super shy, or he might just be a player, stringing you along for the ride. If you want this guy, read on to discover how to get him to ask you out over text in no time flat!

So, you met a guy at a friends party, or at the bar last week, and you hit it off. You’ve been texting all week – and not polite, “Good morning sunshine” texts either, but full on flirty exchanges that you would only say to his face when you’re three wines down. But he hasn’t asked you out yet!

He’s happy to tell you you’re gorgeous, and what he’s going to do to you when he sees you again – but he’s pretty slow on actually working out that “seeing you again” part, and every time you make the suggestion of a date, he’s evasive.

How To Get Him To Ask You Out Over Text: 6 Examples

We’ve all been there: he is so into you over text, but when it comes to a real rendezvous he just can’t quite commit. This is such a frustrating situation, I feel like I could write at least three books on it (but I won’t, at least not today). Instead, I’ve written this article on how to get him to ask you out over text with 6 texts that will make him pop the question – or show his true colors.

1. “So, what are your plans this weekend ☺ ?”

It seems simple, but he may not have even been thinking that far ahead, and was just enjoying the moment texting with you – put the thought of weekend plans into his head, and see how quickly he finds himself a spare night to spend with you.

2. “My girlfriends wanted me to hang out with them Friday night, but I said I might be busy…? ☺”

If he is still being elusive about his weekend plans, let him know that you are expecting something to be happening and are waiting for him to make his move. If he replies with, “oh yeah, what are you plans?”, and he clearly isn’t just flirting, ditch him quick smart, he has no intention of making the move.

3. “When you take me out this weekend, please note that I prefer Tulips over Roses ☺ ”

If he hasn’t asked yet, be direct and sassy – in a humorous way. He may be wondering whether you’re into him or not, and be too nervous to ask you out in case you reject him. This says you’re ready and willing, all in a fun way, which will put him totally at ease when he “pops the question”.

4. ‘”You’re all talk and no walk – love the texts, but still waiting to see the real deal. Hint, hint ;)”

Goad him into asking you out by pointing out that you’re onto him. You have his number, and if he doesn’t rise to the challenge of planning the best date ever now, all his texting will be in vain.

5. “Seeing you aren’t going to ask me out this weekend, guess I’ll buy some ice-cream, watch Seinfeld reruns and cry myself to sleep ☺”

Tease him into asking you out, by pretending to be super upset in his lack of commitment in a way that he knows you’re joking. This allows him to play the gallant “knight in shining amour” who saves you from a weekend alone.

6. “Do you want to hang out this weekend ☺ ?”

If all else fails, you’ve either got yourself a super shy guy, or a total player – find out which one is on the other end of the line by asking the direct question. If he is a shy guy, you’ve just thrown him a total lifeline, and if he is ‘busy’, or never answers your direct question, then you should be too “busy” to text him. Ever again. Simple as that.

Texting is fun, but at the beginning of relationship, it’s still a means to an end.

Note: I’ve added a little smiley to the end of each message in order to try and keep the messages as light and flirty as possible (some could find them a little passive aggressive – but all is fair in love and war, right?)

My Fingers Are Cramping And Enormous

If you’ve been texting for a significant amount of time, and there’s still no sign of an date on the horizon, then it’s time to move fast and get him to lock it in, or caste him away – there are plenty more fish in the sea, and who knows, those fish might be ready to put down their cell phones and spend time with you! After all, you’ve got better things to do than waste your precious time torturing yourself trying to figure out how to get him to ask you out over text, right?

Interested in sending texts that make you irresistible? Check out my eBook French Seduction Made Easy. It’s a unique program with the “French Touch” that will teach you the art of seducing your sweetie via text. Don’t send even one more mundane text.


Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

Recommended Articles


      1. Hi Claudia
        I really like this boy and I know he likes me back but no matter what I do,he will never ask me out and I’m really sad.

        1. Hi Teigan,
          Maybe he is shy, or inexperienced with girls…if you know that he likes you, just be patient. Keep doing what you are doing, and try to spend time with him alone. Maybe he would feel more comfortable asking you out if his friends were not around.
          I hope everything works out for you. Let me know if something changes and I can help.

    1. Hey Lily,
      Hmmm…in general, guys are very visual. If you are chatting on whats app or FB messenger try changing your profile photo (nothing provocative, but something pretty 🙂

    1. Hey there,
      It’s normal to be a little nervous, but just remember that he is probably nervous too. Do something you enjoy before you meet up – such as running, taking a bath or listening to music. And remember – make sure that you meet him in a safe, public place.

  1. There is this really sweet guy a year ahead of me, but moved away. He is always responding with a cute subtle comment, or something, and always taking forever to respond. I hardly even know what he sounds like. I really want to know if he likes me or not, but I don’t know what to do. Please help.

    1. Hi Emma,
      I would suggest staying in contact with him (if you enjoy communicating with him), but then spend your time and energy going for someone closer to you…

  2. Hi,
    There is this guy I really like but he wants to know what I will say if he was to ask me out. He said it is just a question and that he isn’t asking me out…What shall I respond.

    1. Hi there,
      It sounds like he is shy and maybe afraid of being turned down by a girl. So if you really like him, then tell him you would say yes – then wait for him to ask you out.

  3. Okay so I started talking to this guy and I like him. He’s going to the lake today with his friends and I wanna go but I haven’t met the guy yet. How do I get him to ask me if I wanna go or if he could pick me up

    1. Hey Amy,
      I’m sorry for the delay, I hope you ended up at the lake with your guy! If you didn’t end up meeting him, and a similar situation comes up, just ask him directly (as long as you feel he is safe). You can make it light by asking him what he is doing and then when he answers you can write “that sounds pretty cool HINT HINT” and see what he says from there!

  4. Hi,
    There is a guy I like. We talk via FB messenger and we met at work 2 3 times. Now he left the job and stays 2 hrs away. He is busy at work right now and said that whenever he is coming close to my home, he will let me know so that we can go and have a cup of coffee or pizza. Please tell me what can i tell him before we go to a real date? And how to make him call me rather than texting?

    1. Hi Tania,
      I would get the conversation going by asking him about his new job, and then I would keep the conversation light by bringing up pizza (as he promised to take you out). For example, you could tell him about a new pizza place in town, your favorite pizza place, or something else pizza related. Finish off by telling him that you have been craving pizza since he suggested it…and see what he replies 🙂

  5. I have been talking to him for weeks. He says he likes me but he won’t ask me out. I have asked him out 9 times. Its always a no. I am in love with this guy and need help.

    1. Hi Katy,
      If you have asked him out 9 times and he has always said no, I would not ask him out anymore…spend your time and energy meeting other available guys. The more you go after this guy, the more you will push him away.
      Bisous x

  6. I like this guy, and he likes me (He sends me hearts and flirty texts) But he is dating someone else and says he WANTS to date me!!?! What do I do?!?

    1. Hi Marly,
      If he is dating someone else and wants to date you too I would RUN. I definitely wouldn’t trust him, or invest myself in the relationship…keep your eyes open, there are lots of wonderful guys out there who are single and worth your time and energy.

  7. hello , so I have been talk to this one guy recently, he has been really flirty and nice , he would call me every night but he would always mention a girl’s name that i think they might be dating but he insist that he is single , he would say he loves me but he can’t admit that he likes me , he asked me if we are dating or not , but then I asked him to repeat the question again but he said “never mind” . I don’t really know what to do , please help me

    1. Hi Mary,
      If he is calling you every night then I would say that he is definitely interested in you. However he seems to be a little shady when it comes to his feelings, and the other girl. Do you also see him in person?
      I would casually bring up his question at a high point in the conversation (when you are laughing and having a good time). And repeat what he said “So, are we dating or what?” If he still acts strange, let it go and realize that he is probably just a flirt.

  8. so theres this guy i already dated before, but i was told he was being payed to date me. then all of his friends told me it was a lie, AFTER i broke up with him. we stopped talking for a few months then he added me on snapchat and we started talking again and we decided to hang out irl. he tried talking to me, but his friends that i dont personally know, seems to try to push him away from me? i really like him again, but i am afraid it will be awkward, like our first relationship. PLEASE help :/ PS- dont tell me there are other guys, i know that but i really like this guy.

    1. Hi Ashlyn,
      If he really likes you (which he seems to) then he will not listen to his friends. It doesn’t need to be awkward this time around, just forget about the past and don’t bring it up. Instead, meet up with him, chat with him and have fun with him. Be positive, flirty and relaxed. If you think his friends are trying to push you apart, then don’t include them in your circle right now. Make plans that don’t include them. It’s your life and your guy, so don’t let these people ruin your potential relationship.
      Good luck!
      xx Claudia

  9. Hi I am having boy troubles I met this boy on badoo and he asked me on a date so I went out with him on Tuesday he said he would text me but he hasn’t I have text him but no reply I really like him what can I do thank you.

    1. Hi Shannen,
      A lot of times guys play games in the beginning. They wait 3 days to text you, or they act aloof. Let him chase you. If you sent a “thank you” text, then the next move is his. I would wait…and if you still haven’t heard from him in a week, then text him a question and see what he does. If he still doesn’t answer then he is probably a player and I would move on.
      Good luck!

    1. Hi Michelle,
      I would test the waters by throwing in some light, flirty texts into your conversations. For example: “Couldn’t help but notice that you were looking pretty good today in your new shirt/jeans ;)” See how he reacts and then take it from there. A lot of guys are actually shy, and are looking for a little opening before making their move…
      I hope it works out for you!
      xo Claudia

  10. I have met this guy, we work in the same building but different companies. I love him, I have tried to throw some hints to show him that Iam actually interested, but he won’t burge. What do I do

    1. Hi Marry-Ann,
      First, I would try to find out if he already has a girlfriend. Second, do you know an of his friends? If you do, you could suggest all getting together after work for some drinks on a Thursday night for example. If not, just start out slow. Smile and say hi next time you see him in the building. AThe next time ask him where something is (guys love to help). The next time you see him thank him for his help and ask him how everything is going. Slowly work your way into actually getting to know him, then ask him to join you and your friends for a drink or lunch…and hopefully he will take it from there.
      Good luck! I hope it works out for you 🙂

  11. So… I need help. My crush likes me and I obviously like him but he won’t pop he question. We play video games together and stuff and we joke around and laugh together and I’m really into him. But he told his friend that he wants me to be the one to ask him, but I want him to be the one. I’ve been talking to him a lot more lately to see if that would change anything but it hasn’t. I just want him to pop the question, and soon. Please help

    1. Hey Alyssa,
      It sounds like he really likes you, and you have fun together. But, I agree with you – he should be the one asking you out. Maybe you should try talking to him a bit less, or even try talking with other cute guys and see how he reacts…he might just need a little nudge 😉

  12. so there’s this guy I like and he told me he likes me too. but we quarrel more than we talk and most time I’m at fault. whenever we fight it feels like I am the one pushing him away I really like him and I know he likes me too. the communication is somehow bad because most of the time I am always the one chatting him up. He is also yet to ask me out and I really want him to.
    what do I do to make him ask me out please I really need your help.

    1. Hi Love,
      It sounds complicated, but doable. If he is chatting with you on a regular basis then he is probably interested in you. I would avoid the topics that make you quarrel and focus on fun, light, flirty stuff. Topics like “What is he interested in? Do you have any common interests?” The next time you’re chatting with him tell him about something cool that you’re going to do (like going to a party, a concert, etc.) and casually ask him if he’s going to be there. You’re not technically asking him out, because you are going to go anyway. But you’re opening the door for him to ask you out (he’s probably not sure if you like him or not, so this gives him the green light). When you see him, just act natural and don’t argue with him. Smile, ask questions, hopefully he will ask you out for real the next time.
      Good luck!

      1. Thanks so much @ Claudia. He has finally asked me out and our relationship now is stable and fun. I’m forever grateful. He now checks up on me, and it’s been long we quarreled. I’m so thankful.

        1. Hi Love,
          I’m so happy to hear that everything worked out with him! 🙂 Thank you so much for letting me know, it really means a lot to me.
          Sending tons of positive energy your way.
          Bisous x

  13. Hi
    There is this guy that i have hung out with a couple of times and the last time we hung out there seemed to be a romantic spark. However, he had to go overseas for a few months but now he is back and is not initiating any conversation or asking me to hang out with him like he usually used to. We still keep contact with each other on snapchat. Is he waiting for me to make the first move now that he is back or has he lost interest. I am kind of sick of waiting for him for so long and always anticipating a text from him. Should I move on? Whenever i try to stop interacting on snapchat, he just keeps sending me more snaps. He has also snapped me that he is single which is all the more confusing. What should I do?

    1. Hi Mia,
      From what you have said, it sounds like he is still interested. If you are sick of waiting, then tease him when the time is right with: “So…you said you are single, when are you going to ask me out :)” If he doesn’t have the nerve to ask you out after that, move on.
      I hope everything works out!

  14. Hi
    So there is this girl i really like, and that i’m trying to find out a lot more about her, she likes me too and w both got a crush on each other. We met on Facebook through a mutual friend. And she is already calling me “baby”. And i haven’t even asked her out yet, because i got a complete courage to and want to ask her. What do i do? Should i engage in a relationship with her? Or should I tease her and wait until she asks me out?
    What should I do?

    1. Hi there,
      I am happy to hear that you met a girl that you really like, and she likes you too! 🙂 I would ask her to do something with you that you know she enjoys – sports, getting ice cream, listening to music, etc. If you’re too shy to ask her to go out alone with you, ask her to join you and a group of friends for something (include your mutual friend in the group so she knows at least one person and feels comfortable).
      Good luck!

      1. Well we both live in different states in the US. But She really does treat me as like I’m her bf already and that we’re dating but i haven’t asked her out yet and really want to, but i told her that when she’s fully ready i’ll ask her. Bcoz i really do feel for her and she feels for me

        1. Hi Cariel,
          I’m happy to hear that you found someone special 🙂 Have you already met her in person? If you haven’t then I would set up a meeting with her as soon as possible to see if the spark is also there in real life (before you spend months or even years emotionally involved with someone you don’t really know). I hope everything works out for you!

          1. Thank you so much and do you have any recommendations on what i should get her when me and her first meet in person or hang out? Like chocolates? Flowers? a teddy bear?

          2. Hi Cariel,
            I don’t think you need to get her anything the first time you meet, unless it is something personal that relates to a conversation you had. For example, if you talked about your favorite chocolate or your favorite dessert then you could surprise her with that (just make sure it’s nothing over the top). Or, if she told you that she just got into cooking you could give her a small cook book to help her get started. Otherwise, just gift her with your full undivided attention 🙂
            I hope that everything works out well for you!

          3. So far its going good for me and her but im gonna ask her out soon and am excited, i see that she really wants to be with me and that we’ll be happy together? Should i go for it?

          4. Hi Cariel,
            Did you already meet her in person? I wouldn’t ask her to be your girlfriend until you have met her face to face. If everything goes well when you meet, and you feel a connection, then go for it! 🙂
            Good luck!

          5. well sadly apparently she can’t talk to me for a while as her parents took her stuff away but i am waiting for her to return back and text me back like me and her used to do. But she lives in Virginia and i live in New Jersey so now i am just waiting but i am starting to lose hope and am fearing that I’m hoping she is okay.

          6. I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 Tt doesn’t seem that there is a lot that you can do at the moment except wait. I hope that she is OK and that you will finally be able to meet her in person.
            Stay strong

          7. Welp she’s pregnant somehow but its fine i guess and now we can’t talk bcoz i think she deleted her facebook or something but yeah. I’m really upset now

          8. Hi Cariel,
            She’s pregnant? It sounds like an even more complicated situation…I can understand why you would be upset. As there seems no way you can get in contact with her now that she has deleted her FB account and her parents have taken away her phone, the only thing you can do is focus on trying And when you do, please let me know.

  15. Hey, so I met this guy through a work friend we have so much in common but I haven’t met him in person yet. I really like him and I really want him to ask me out what do I do?

    1. Hmmm well, you could either drop a major hint such as “I love your sense of humor, are you this funny in person? I’d love to find out :)” or you can be a little more subtle and ask him about his weekend plans. If he brings up an activity that you like, such as running, ask him for his opinion. For example “I was thinking of taking a jog on Sunday afternoon, where’s your favorite place to jog?”
      Good luck! I hope it works out 🙂

  16. Hi,
    So there’s this guy that I’ve had a crush on since November, and I’m pretty sure that he knows I like him. We don’t see each other a lot, because we both play the same sport and only see each other at competitions. We text a lot, and he always responds really fast and is super nice to me and we have really good conversations. I get so nervous to talk to him in person and he gets upset when I don’t say hi to him or talk to him a lot. One time, I wasn’t at a competition and he told me that he wished that I was there. The only problem is that a lot of people know that he likes another girl, who he only sees at competitions, including his mom. I keep getting signs from him, and I’m really confused. What should I do? Do you think he likes me or is he just being nice?

    1. Hi Miriam,
      It’s definitely a good sign that he texts you back fast and he misses you when you aren’t there. The next time you see him, make sure that you say hi to him, look him in the eyes and smile. Guys are scared of getting rejected by girls, so he probably won’t ask you out unless he feels like you would say yes. When you smile, look him the eyes and say hi it gives him the green light 🙂
      Good luck! I hope everything works out for you.

    1. Hi El,
      If he is reading your messages and not responding I would stop sending him messages. Wait and see if he messages you, and then text him one for one. If you keep messaging him now you are just going to push him further and further away. In the meantime, focus on keeping yourself busy and doing things that make you happy.

  17. Me and this guy dated for six months over text.. he ended it and it’s been to months and I’m still sad. I feel like he’s my soulmate and don’t want to lose him. He said he doesn’t believe in second chances, but I want to convince him to give me one

    1. Hi Kam
      I’m sorry to hear that you are sad. If he doesn’t want to invest in saving the relationship then you can’t really do a lot except keeping yourself busy and happy and ready to meet new, amazing guys.

  18. Hi Claudia
    I’ve been texting back and forth with a guy I matched with via online dating app for 2 weeks. He mentioned on his profile that he is extremely shy as well.

    I recently broke my ankle and am currently away so its impossible to ask him out.

    Only thing is he always replies to my texts in detail but rarely asks me any personal questions. He will ask how my day is, weekend or what I had for lunch. I asked if he was free a certain weekend in October to meet up and he said he may be busy.

    Is he interested or replying to be polite?

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated Jennie

    1. Hi Jennie,
      I’m sorry to hear about your ankle, I hope you are making a speedy recovery! Even if he’s shy, his “I may be busy” reply makes it sound as if he’s just looking for a pen pal. Even if he is busy that certain weekend, he should suggest another date…
      Continue texting with him if you are enjoying the convo, but don’t stop meeting other guys.

  19. Hi
    After several years our friendship is still welded, but we had many moments we did not write by message then one or the other came back after a long moment of silence .. I remember that one day at the beginning of our relationship he had confessed to me his feelings, I did not reject him nor answered, I understood it as a joke and I think that he took it badly, I did not trust him like our relation was virtual and we never saw each other. Several months later he told me about his new girlfriend and told me EVERYTHING, I was obviously happy for him by message but behind me I was very offended because I began to feel something for him. I then pretended to believe that I had a boyfriend too and later he confessed to me after our false break that he was a little jealous … He asked me for advice for his girlfriend. .. one day I tried to make him understand by message that I loved him but he could not understand my feelings in my place according to him. we then cut everything because he was lost and did not recognize me anymore, then several months later he came back to write to me, I still do not know how to react, for now we are still writing and he gives me a cute nickname, Is it possible that he feels something for me? or does he really see me as his friend?

    1. Hi Emma,
      I think there is potential for a relationship, but it sounds complicated with the distance and the bad timing. Do you want to be in a relationship with him? If so, the first thing you need to do is take what you have out of the virtual world and into the real world and eventually have an open conversation with him about what you feel, what you want…is it possible to meet him IRL? If not, maybe you need to rethink if it would even be possible to have a real relationship (not just be pen pals) with him. If you decide that it would be too complicated or it’s just not feasible, but you want to stay friends, in the future, skip any delicate conversations over text…there is way too much room for misunderstanding.
      Email me if I can help.
      Bisous x

  20. I meet this guy on Facebook and he ask me out
    To be his girlfriend on easter Sunday
    He said he doesn’t have a girlfriend nd he said
    We can use that to know each other
    I don’t know what to do

    1. Hi Taiwo,
      It seems like he is going pretty fast…asking you to be his girlfriend before even meeting you in person? Also, Easter is usually a family holiday and maybe you already have plans with your family? If that is the case, I would not drop your plans with your family. Ask him to reschedule for another day.

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *