More and more of us are getting into long-distance relationships (and often not even by design) so more and more of us are asking ourselves how to keep a long distance relationship.
We join chat rooms and social gaming platforms to have a bit of fun, and before we know it we’ve fallen in love with someone who lives on the other side of the world from us. We’re happy but sad at the same time. We can text, sure, but we want more than that. We want touch, too.
I know how it is. Boy, have I been there! You’re at home and they’re a million miles away in another region or country. You want them to be right next to you so that you can cuddle them and have pillow talk (and maybe even some pillow fights!). You deserve all that, but you can’t have it at the moment.
Thank goodness you’ve at least got your smartphone and can text.
But even then, there’s the worry that long-distance might not be enough. All kinds of questions spin through your mind:
“What if my texts bore them? What if they lose interest? What if they find someone else to chat to? And what on Earth does it mean when they say ‘OK’??”
So, how does one keep a long distance relationship?
It isn’t easy, and texting can be a minefield at the best of times, let alone when it’s long-distance texting. But if you take heed of the following tips and tricks, you’ll have a much better chance of keeping the romantic flame burning strong until you get to see them for real.
Share What’s Happening to You Right Now
Okay, I don’t mean that you have to get gross and share every last thing that is happening to you right now. The beauty of smartphones is that we can share our surroundings in an instant with our partner.
Let them know what you’re up to. Better yet, take a photo of where you are and SHOW them where you are. Take videos, too.
Always be random and spontaneous. If you’re out and about and spot something funny or cute, take a picture and send it to your partner.
Animal pics are always a winner. If you’re walking through a park and spot a squirrel gathering its nuts, snap and send it!
It’s important that your partner feels involved in your life when they’re away, and you can easily keep them involved by keeping them up to date with where you are and what you’re up to. In the gallery checking some art? Take a picture and send it to the with a caption:
“I saw this painting and instantly thought of you.”
Wherever you go and whatever you do, document it. Involve your partner. Take pics and videos.
Remember the Small Things
Some things might seem small to us, but they’re often big things to our partners. And when you remember the small things, it’s a massive deal to them and they’ll literally love you forever.
When long-distance texting, don’t just focus on the big stuff all the time. When it’s their birthday, you’re going to wish them a happy birthday, but you already knew you had to do that! So did they. It was expected.
What will really make them smile is when you remember the small things they’d thought you’d forgotten.
Remembering the small stuff and texting them about it isn’t easy if you have a poor memory. But it is why you have to take notes of the things they say to you. Write things down – especially dates – as it will make it a lot easier to remember stuff.
Won’t it be amazing when, on the morning they have to give a presentation, you’re in their inbox, wishing them luck? They’d totally forgotten they’d told you about it, and yet there you are! You’re amazing!
These are thoughtful texts to send, and they’re always appreciated.
If you’re really missing them and this long-distance thing is starting to annoy the heck out of you, you should communicate to them that you’re missing them in a very personal way.
Being generic and simply saying “I miss you!!” is totally fine, but it’s not all that personal. There are bigger chords you can strike and bigger heartstrings you can pull on by butting a bit more effort into your texting.
Be specific. Let them know exactly what it is that you miss about them. Maybe you miss a certain noise they always make on Skype, or maybe you miss their intelligence when they’re not around.
Or you miss the chatting about your favorite things when it’s their time to sleep (because time zones).
How to keep a long distance relationship?
There is a really easy way to take the edge off a romance when all you’ve got is long-distance texting. How? By being super negative and annoying!
Imagine he hasn’t texted for a few hours. That sucks, I know. But he’s probably been buys, no?
Maybe that doesn’t cut it with you. Maybe you insist that he still should have found the time to text you. And you go on offensive:
“Where are you? I texted you at 8 AM and haven’t heard from you all day! I’ve had the most stressful day EVER and you weren’t here!”
And what happens if you constantly keep asking them where they’ve been and why they haven’t been texting you back?
It’s really frustrating when we’re kept waiting for a reply, especially when they’re so many miles away and texting is all we’ve got. We’ve got a whole day free to text but they’re nowhere to be found!
If they haven’t texted you back for a few hours, you can react in one of two ways: You can either get on with your day, knowing full well that they’re really busy and will get back to you as soon as they can, or you can sent them text after text, asking where they are and getting increasingly upset and angry.
There is a third course of action, too: You could get angry but refrain from texting. The problem with this is that when they do eventually text back, you’re ready to explode and demand to know where the heck they were.
It’s super important that you stay calm and look at this situation with a positive mind. If you approach this with a positive attitude, you’ll be happy when they eventually text. You’ll be so happy that you won’t point fingers or ignite the blame game. You’ll scream their name in capitals, and tell them how much you’ve missed them.
And guess what? They’ll appreciate this!
Listen, long-distance texting is hard enough without our partner getting on our backs when we’ve been too busy to text. It puts pressure on us, creates tension… and actually makes us want to text even LESS!
After all, why would we want to text someone when we know they’re just going to explode and ask us 101 questions?
Always think positively. You can text when they haven’t responded for a while, but make sure you don’t refer to the fact that they haven’t texted. Send pics. Talk about your day. Tell a joke.
When we’re far away from our partner, one of the biggest problems we have to wrestle with is how to keep the relationship exciting.
How can you keep things exciting when you can’t touch or kiss your partner? When you can’t surprise them with breakfast in bed, some new lingerie or a weekend getaway? It’s difficult!
One of the things you do have is your phone and the power of flirting!
Young people just love to flirt on their phones, and this is certainly an easy way of making sure the relationship continues to fizz. Who cares about discussing politics when you can play some flirty texting games?
Flirting is fun and ensures that a long-distance relationship keeps ticking. Tease them, banter with them, and don’t be afraid to get a bit naughty now and then.
Don’t Try to Read Between the Lines
There are many things that can harm long-distance relationships, and one of them is our unfortunate desire to read more into a text than really is there.
You know how it goes: You went to bed last night with his loving text close to your heart. His words were so poetic and genuine!
Upon waking the next day, the first thing you do is read the text again. All of a sudden, the smile fades from your face as the sun moves behind the clouds. In the cold light of day, you’re seeing his text differently.
What if he didn’t mean what you thought he meant last night? What if he meant something else? Something not cool at all?!
Of course! You got a bit too giddy last night. You got swept up in a romantic wave. Now you see his words for what they really meant.
He’s not gonna marry you at all. He’s going to dump you!
We can literally drive ourselves crazy when we try to read too much into their texts! We wonder if they’re about to leave us each time they say: “OK”.
It’s not healthy. The best thing is to take their texts at face value and keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t worry.
And if it does seem like they’re in a bad mood., it doesn’t mean you’re the cause of it.
These are some long-distance texting tips. If you’ve got some you’d like to add, feel free to share in the box below! We’d love to hear from you on your secrets for how to keep a long distance relationship!