Sit back and enjoy this crash course in flirty banter. Get ready to learn the top tactics that guys can use on any girl so that she starts seeing you as more than just a friend. After all, isn’t that the point? To get some face to face time and make your move?
Flirty Banter: Best Tips & Tricks
From knowing what to say to knowing what not to say, flirting over text can be a total minefield. Here’s what you need to do (and what you don’t need to do).
Don’t Be Crass
In other words, don’t be too sexual too soon.
The reason flirting works so well is because you’re suggesting things, rather than being explicit. You’re teasing her, rather than giving her the full cake right away.
So don’t spoil your chances by coming on too strong sexually. Avoid all vulgar language, as well as any crass references to sex, and don’t say something like “I wanna f%*k you right now.”
Let Her Know You Want Her
You want her and you need to let her know you want her – but you also don’t want to come on too strong and be overtly direct.
So how do you state your intentions?
A nice way to do it is by writing something like “I’ve been thinking about you a lot today.”
Or, you could try the old “I miss you” chestnut, which always works like a charm on a girl.
To ramp up the flirting a little (and move away from too much sentimentality), you could add a clause:
“I miss you. PS Enjoy this ‘cause you’ve caught me at a time when I just watched a sad movie lol.”
Sexy Banter Means Kinda Sexy Photos
Are you even flirting unless you send hot pics of yourself?
And when we say “hot pics” we mean hot pics. Don’t go sending a random pic of a “pretty sunset” and expect to call it flirting. To turn up the heat in your text chat, it’s time to send her some cute pics of you.
What types of pics could you send?
Naturally, she’s not gonna turn down a selfie. If you send one of you with messy hair after you just got out of a shower, she’ll sense you’re flirting with her.
The same could be said if you tease her a little by showing her your torso.
Or what about posing in front of a mirror (without your shirt maybe?)?
There are lots of different types of pics you could send. But as before – don’t be crass. This means no unwanted nudes.
Leave Her Wanting More
Take your mind out of the gutter – not that.
Instead, when we say that you should leave her wanting more, we mean that you should end conversations early just when things are about to get juicy.
For example, if you can sense the rising sexual anticipation, tell her that you’ve just gotta go do something but that you’ll be back soon to continue things.
She’ll hate it – but you’ll also leave her begging for more.
Even better, she won’t be able to get you out of her mind for the next hour or so.
The trick is to not do this sort of thing too often, and to only disappear for a short while.
Flirty Banter: Paint Pictures in Her Mind
Sometimes, you don’t even need to send her a pic when you’re flirting.
Sometimes, painting pictures in her mind works better.
What do we mean?
You could text her something as seemingly innocent as “be right back, gotta go shower” after an intensive workout session.
If your text has the desired effect, she’ll be picturing you in the shower.
And when you return, she might ask “how was your shower?”
At which point, you’re obligated to keep painting pictures. You could now write something like “just drying off.”
Painting pictures lets you get ultra suggestive and flirty without being overtly sexual and explicit. You could even write something random like “almost got caught naked by the delivery guy today who was looking in my window.”
Playful Banter is Never Boring
This is pretty much the law when it comes to flirting. After all, if you’re boring, are you even flirting?
To master flirty banter, you need to always be interesting but you also need to be as unpredictable as possible.
Basically, you’ll be texting her differently to how you text a girl you’re not flirting with (or interested in).
So instead of sending a cliched “hey, good morning” text, you might send something that references the last conversation you two had. Like this:
“Can’t believe you fell asleep on me last night. I was just starting to picture all the things we could have done if we’d been together too …”
Now you’ve got her attention.
Make Sure to Tease Her
Teasing is flirting – but it can also be hurtful if you don’t get it right.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to tease a girl. The right way is to gently tease her about things that don’t really matter, and which she could easily change, while the wrong way is to tease her about super important things that she can’t change.
For example, you could tease her about her favorite movie or band. Sending texts like this – “omg you’re a Swiftie I need some time to process this” – is fine. You’re teasing her, you’re flirting – it’s all good.
But the moment you tease her about her weight, her hair or any other aspect of her appearance (even if your intentions are good) is the moment you lose.
Keep Your Messages Short
You haven’t mastered flirty banter if your texts are ridiculously long.
Are you even flirting if you’ve just written her a book?
Nope.
The key to flirting is being fun, a little bit silly – and brief.
Each time you send her a flirty text, make sure to keep your characters to a minimum. Avoid long words and big paragraphs and don’t be afraid to send two or three word responses if the context is right.
After all, you can always send 2, 3 or even 4 texts on the spin if you keep your texts short and sweet. Example
“Omg” “did u even just say that”
“We can’t be friends anymore, sorry”
Use Emojis
Emojis make your texts more fun and they’re also a good way of letting her know that you’re flirting with her.
They help her to understand both your tone and what it is you’re trying to suggest.
For instance, you could get a conversation going in the evening with a heart eyes emoji – that’s it, that’s all you need to send for her to realize you’re up for some fun and flirty convo.
Be creative with your emojis and don’t be afraid to use the same one a few times in the same text.
Another idea is to use the crying emoji numerous times in one text if she’s (playfully) said something that has upset you (it hasn’t really upset you, you’re just teasing).
Don’t Break Rapport
Flirting relies on you to get into rapport with a girl and stay in rapport with her. If you lose rapport, it’s all over.
For example, let’s say you’re flirting and she suddenly says something that puts you on your guard a little. Rather than laughing it off, you pull her up on it and things get a little dark, serious and even a bit weird.
There’s no way to recover from this.
It’s the same if you sprinkle any kind of negative talk into your text (such as criticizing her politics) or make a really weird joke that doesn’t hit.
Instead, it’s smart to stay in rapport by always being positive, avoiding confrontational subjects and not getting dark with your humor.
Flirty Banter: Final Thoughts
Flirting with girls isn’t easy – but it also isn’t rocket science. As long as you’re fun, naughty but not too naughty, and you’ve got a bit of imagination, you can make her laugh and Turner on.
Now that you have mastered flirty banter, it’s time to initiate a conversation and grab her attention.
