Relationships have always been tricky, especially relationships with an ex. Now, with all the readily available forms of digital communication, reaching out to an ex has gotten a whole lot easier. Are you ready for the challenge?

My ex wants to be friends. Great. How do you deal with that dilemma? Well, it all starts out by knowing what you want and taking the time to assess your feelings.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? However, being blasted with an ex text right out of the blue can blindside the average person. Don’t fret. We’ve got the answers and the texts you need to send.

1. Your Ex May Want To Be Friends Because They Miss You

Look, your ex is going to miss you. Maybe you even miss them little too? It’s almost impossible for most people to end a relationship without a second thought about their previous partner.

Things become problematic when your ex gets a bit drunk, watches a sad film and texts you to tell you they miss you and want to hang out again. It’s awkward because what are you supposed to say?

If you’re not feeling it, tell them you’ve moved on.

As an illustration, here are some examples:

“I miss you too but I don’t think it would be a good idea to meet up.”

“I appreciate you as a person, but I’ve moved on. I hope you can too.”

2. They See That You’re In A New Relationship

Don’t know what you’ve got til’ it’s gone…and apparently you are Insta official with a new hottie. Scenarios like this can drive an ex to reach out. But ladies, first things first, if your ex texts you and you’re in a new relationship, it’s imperative that you let your partner know. It doesn’t need to be a long, drawn out discussion, but you shouldn’t try and hide it from them either.

“My ex wants to be friends. They just texted me and I thought I should tell you.”

Then, you can plan your next move.

Feelings will be running high. If you want to see your ex again but your partner doesn’t want you to, respect their wishes. I know it’s tough, but be upfront with your ex.

And be ready for the obvious follow up text:

“Why can’t we just be friends?”

Stand firm and don’t jeopardize your new relationship.


“I’m sorry but I’m in a new relationship and it wouldn’t be right to hang out. I hope you understand and are doing well”

It might upset them to hear this but it’s the best course of action. If they react badly or get upset, don’t cave in. Keep your ground. It’s part of being assertive and being an adult.

Most of the time, however, as long as your ex is reasonable person, they’ll accept your decision.

3. They Need Your Help

“I think my ex wants to be friends again. They texted me saying they really need my help with something.”

Sound familiar? It’s a common tactic used by exes who want to initiate contact with past partners as they know it ups their chances at scoring a response.

However, if you’ve moved on and getting back in contact with them is going to set you, or your new relationship back, you need to be assertive right from the start.


“Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time but I honestly don’t think I’m the right person to help.”

Leave it at that. If they persist with a follow-up text, stay firm.

On the other hand, if you’d like to reconnect with your ex and are willing to help them, try this:

“Hey, of course I can help. Do you want to call me instead?”

How you respond when your ex gets back in touch depends entirely on what you want. If you have zero desire to be friends, you need to be direct and upfront with them immediately. Once you invite them to send a follow-up text, it’s a slippery slope.

We hope this has answered the my ex wants to be friends problem! Feel free to leave us a comment in the box below.

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Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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