He was quite funny after all, wasn’t he? And looking back over old photos you know that he was no Chris Hemsworth, but dayum – that smile. Searching for what to text a guy to get his attention back? Read on.
As your feelings grow and your regret grows even more, that one question that we all hate pushes itself to the front of the queue and flaunts its power right in your face; ‘what if?’ ‘I had tried harder?’ ‘He was the one?’ The uncertainty becomes too much and all you want to do is pick up the phone and scream:
“Pleeeaaase take me back!”
Getting back in touch with a guy you like after a lengthy break requires a certain skill and finesse. Going in all guns blazing will not get the results that you want.
If you want to present yourself as the independent and sophisticated lady that you are, then you need to skillfully reignite those old flames.
Knowing What To Text A Guy To Get His Attention BACK First Starts With Understanding
By and large, communication is key in any relationship. So, getting it back up and running is the first step to revisiting the romance.
1. Work Out The Cause Of The Communication Breakdown
In order to find a solution you need to know what the source of the problem was. Before you contact him, identify what caused the breakdown in communication, so you work towards fixing it.
For example, who stopped texting first? Were you the one to impose the silent treatment, or did you simply follow his lead?
Did he meet someone else? If so, are they still together? If after a little research you see he’s currently in a relationship, stop and do some soul searching. Reaching out to an ex that is single is one thing, trying to break up a relationship is entirely something else.
Next, ask yourself if he was disrespectful or acted emotionally unavailable? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, stop again. Why would you want to rekindle a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you like a queen?
However, if you were the problem, for example you were going through a rough patch and shut him out, or you were not feeling confident and self sabotaged (but now you are in a better place), start thinking tactics.
The first communication tactic is using his preferred communication channel. Is he a phone or text guy? Reach out to him via the means he feels the most comfortable, and at a time you think he will be free. Think back to how and when you communicated and try to find your window of opportunity.
2. Put Yourself In His Shoes
Now that you have pinpointed the cause of the breakdown, be prepared for any response he throws you. Put yourself in his shoes and trying to imagine how he is going to react to a sudden influx of conversation from you.
Will he be angry, pleased or slightly cautious? It is important to keep in mind that he may not have gone through the same process as you, and may not be feeling as positive about this re-connection “thing”.
Prepare yourself before the conversation. Have a couple of conversation topics on hand. For example, something specific that made you think about him, such as an upcoming concert, a trip you are planning with your friends, a new hobby you just picked up, etc.
3. Keep It Light And Cool
Third, keep it short and engaging. If you haven’t spoken in 6 months, there is no need to write him a novel detailing everything you did and felt during your time apart (easy on the information overload).
If he doesn’t ask for an explanation of why you haven’t contacted him, then don’t give him one – play it cool. You can eventually have a heart to heart with him when you see him in person. Remember: serious conversations should never take place via text – always talk about deep feelings or issues in person.
Light and cool means avoiding at all costs any previous points of conflict. Your mission is to create a mental image of you as fun, exciting and attractive (which you are!). Tell him about all the positive things happening in your life – your new love for painting, your personal coaching certificate or your recent trip to Australia.
4. Find The Perfect Ice Breaker
And finally, plan out your first message well. No matter how strongly you feel that you are doing the right thing, hitting that send button it gonna take guts. Take the fear away by making sure you have a foolproof ice –breaker that he can’t NOT reply to! Show him how adorable and fun you are
“Hey stranger, are you keeping out of trouble?”
“Still living the rock star lifestyle?”
“How are your plans for world domination :)”
“I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hi. How have you been?”
Ready Ladies? Here Are 4 Tips For What To Text A Guy To Get His Attention BACK
Now that you have broken the ice and gotten the conversation started, what can you do to keep the momentum moving forward? Well, it’s time to put on your big girl pants and use a little bit of your intelligence and your fabulous female charm!
1. Be Creative
First, it is important to understand that getting past the awkward re-connection requires a little bit of effort. If you want to get him interested in you again then you need to remind him why he liked you in the first place.
Avoid closed questions, and sending lame texts out of boredom. Instead, prompt him to give you a free flowing answer to something he enjoys texting about (and that doesn’t require a 50K word response). Scour his responses for topics that can be expanded upon, and make sure to include them in your next message.
2. Re-Connect Using Previous Conversations
Next, revisit the last idea that you talked about with a different approach. For example if the topic was his next marathon, why not go ahead and say “Went for a run yesterday and thought of you. How’s the training going?” . Or, if he recently bought his dream car, you can ask “have you taken your new car on any big road trips yet?”
Show that you remember details about him because he is important. Is he a dog guy? Ask him if he got the golden retriever he was talking about and ask to see a photo. If he’s a new “dog daddy” he will be excited to tell you all about his new pup. When the opportunity presents itself in the conversation, suggest an in-person meet up to see his new best friend.
3. Pay Him A Genuine Compliment
Third, appeal to his pride and ask him about a professional or personal achievement. Pay him a sincere compliment. Positive communication is key. Your goal is to make him look forward to hearing from you, and what better way to do that then being a bright spot in his day
“So how is life post-promotion?”
“Just saw your new job on LinkedIn, congrats! How’s it going so far?”
“I heard your team won the playoffs, congrats! How are you planning to celebrate?”
“Love the seeing all the work you are doing to help the community. You have always had the biggest heart.”
4. Prompt A Face-To-Face Meeting
And finally, don’t get caught up in a “textionship”. Obviously texting is an amazing tool for instant communication, and staying connected. But even for me, a texting fiend, I know it can’t replace the real thing! Once the conversation has been flowing for a while, casually suggest a face-to-face meeting to find out if reconnecting was the right or wrong thing to do. Do it in a creative and playful way, for example:
“I’m thinking about checking out the new wine bar in town, you been there yet? :)”
Generally speaking, figuring out what to text a guy you like but haven’t spoken to in a while is always going to be nerve wracking experience. But instead of feeling those negative nerves that make your stomach churn, use these texting tips and go get your man!
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