First dates are fun. They're exciting. For now, you're just testing the waters with the other person to see how things work out, but there's always the hope that this could lead to something... awesome! There's no pressure either way. You're just meeting up, having some drinks and getting to know each other. But when the first date goes better than expected - like, way better than you expected (and they were even hotter than their photo) - you naturally want to make sure you keep the momentum going with your post-date text. But how do you do that?!

One of the biggest dating dilemmas we all face is texting after the first date. What do you text when the date is over and they’ve gone home? Is there a magic bullet that always works? Are there things you shouldn’t say in case you just undo all your hard work? So many questions – so many possibilities!

Let’s take a look at texting after the first date and what you need to do (and what you need to avoid doing).

1. Make sure they got home safely

Asking if they got home okay serves two purposes:

It’s polite and makes you look like you care about their well-being. You want to make sure their journey home was bearable, and that they’ve managed to get in safe and sound. And who doesn’t like to be asked if they got home okay? It’s just a nice text that shows someone actually cares about us.

And imagine not being asked by your date if you got home okay? It kind of gives the impression that they don’t care that much. Don’t be sloppy – ask if they made it home without any fuss.

Asking if they got home okay is also a great way of reigniting the conversation if you can’t think of anything else to say. If you don’t want to make it look obvious that you want to chat to them, just ask if they got home okay. It’s polite, and should open up a new conversation – providing, of course, that they don’t reply with “Yes”!!

2. Bring up a funny moment

If you’re really stuck for a way of reigniting the conversation after the date, why not bring up a shared experience – for example, something funny that happened just now, during your first date.

Maybe you got served by a new waiter who mixed up your orders.

Or,  perhaps you both got scared during the movie and knocked over your popcorn.

Maybe you watched a penguin try to escape from the zoo enclosure (I don’t know, I’m just riffing!). OMG Remember that Penguin…

If you shared a fun, humorous or even bizarre moment together, now is the time to bring it up again. As they replay it in their mind, they will surely giggle and remember what a great time you guys had together today.

See, what you’re doing here is associating today with fun in their mind. By bringing up the best bits, you’re reminding them that today was great and that maybe you two should have a second date.

3. Let them know you had a great time!

A mistake would be to ask if they had a fab time. Instead, say that YOU had a fab time today.

“Had such an awesome day today! And I’m so glad that the weather was gorgeous!!”

With any luck, they will reply positively and say that they, too, had a wonderful time.

Another mistake would be to wait for the other person to get in touch and say that they had a fun time first. One of you needs to take the lead on this, and it may as well be you. No doubt your date was just as nervous about this as you, and if you tell them without any prompting that you had a great day, it’s going to make them feel good!

They’re likely to respond positively (providing they actually did enjoy it), and the conversation can move on from there.

Texting After The First Date Key Takeaway

Okay, we’re not saying that texting after the first date should involve you baring your soul and telling them you love them and want to have their babies. But you need to be as direct as possible if you want to get a second date out of this – or if you DON’T want to see them again.

If you don’t want a second date, be upfront about it. It’s hard to do this – we know. No one wants to be let down, especially if they’re into you. But there is no point beating around the bush here. If you just weren’t that into them, let them know politely so that you can both move on.

If, however, you totally dig them, it’s time to be brave and say that you think it’d be awesome if you guys met up again. Tell them you had a great time and that you’d love to see them again. Don’t be vague. This is dating, remember. If you’re vague, there is always someone else to take your place. If you’re on top right now, stay on top and get that second date sorted!

These are just a few texting after the first date ideas. If you have any suggestions of your own, feel free to leave us a comment in the box below!

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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  1. So I go out on a date and he was so excited that i accepted. It went very well and he / I decided to get him a hotel room so that we could spend Sunday together. We did and it was great. When it was time to end the date he walked me to the car and gave me an envelope with some cash (did not ! ask for it – with some talk of losing an income and needing a 2nd job to make budget) he said do not say No – except this gift as a start of our relationship. I sent a text to see if he got home safe (2 hr drive) and he said yes and with saying he had such a great time and would see me real soon. with than goodnight I will talk with you tomorrow. That was 11 days ago. (we are both widow/widower). This is now the 2nd time this kind of behavior has happened and its giving me a complex of what I am I doing wrong? Help !!

    1. Hi Dnet,
      I know that you were trying to be nice, but in the future I wouldn’t get a hotel room for a guy on the first date. I think it sends out the wrong message. If he is coming from some place far away then he should think about reserving a hotel room for himself. I am not sure why he never called back – but in my opinion he seems to be very complicated (why was he giving you money as a symbol of starting your relationship? strange). Keep a positive mind, don’t give too much too soon and try to enjoy the process. The right guy will come along.

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