In 2023 it’s important that we all refine our texting skills so that we can build even better relationships and improve our chances of success – especially with the opposite sex, when we can’t meet face to face.
What do you think is the worst thing that could happen if your communication skills via text are poor? Perhaps the other person will get bored and lose interest. Maybe they’ll stop talking to you altogether.
Maybe you won’t get what you wanted. Maybe they’ll find someone else to talk to.
Communication is the key to stronger relationships, both romantic and professional ones. When it comes to romance especially, the better you are at communicating with the other sex via text, the more luck you’ll have.
Even if you just want some flirty fun, your communication skills need to be on point. Otherwise, you can forget all about another date – ever again.
That’s how important good text communication skills are. We all text, and we all form an impression about a person based on the way they text. If you can’t keep someone’s interest, you lose out.
Let’s take a look how both sexes should communicate better via texting with some examples.
One of the problems with texting is that tone is very hard to detect. You’ve probably already noticed this. Either someone in the past has misread what you’ve said to them and got upset, or you’ve misread what someone has said to you and got way too excited.
Tone is hard to judge, and the only thing to make it easier for the other person to work out your tone is by being as clear and as concise as possible.
Read back your text messages before sending and ask yourself if your tone is clear. If it isn’t, reword it so that your language is more direct.
The other person is not a mind-reader – they need you to help them out.
If you don’t want to appear frustrated with them, don’t say “Oh my God!!!” Instead, be clear about what you want from them: “LOL I see you’re still struggling with what I’m saying. What aspect are you not clear about?”
Re-Read Your Messages Before Sending
This beauty of texting is that we can edit our words before sending them. This is something you just can’t do in real life. In real life, the opposite sex gets you in raw, unedited form – fumbled lines, faux pas, the works! It’s so easy to say something you deeply regret two seconds later.
You: “I love you.”
Your brain two seconds later: “Oh my God, did I just say that…”
With texting, you have the chance to look over what you’ve typed out. You can edit it before sending.
For example, let’s say that you’re a bit annoyed with the other person and you’re ready to lash out in the heat of the moment. “I’m seriously thinking of ending this!!”
If you take a time-out before sending, you might return ten minutes later with a totally different approach. Maybe you’ll fine tune you text so there is a lot less emotional intensity. Something like this: “I didn’t appreciate your last text, but I understand your concerns. Why don’t we talk about this over the phone?”
You shouldn’t just give yourself some breathing space during more heated exchanges. Edit your texts whenever emotions are high. For better communication, it’s important that you don’t get caught up in knee-jerk reactions caused by the heat of the moment.
Always Say Goodbye
You know what’s really annoying? When people just vanish mid-conversation.
You’re having a great time texting them. The minutes are flying by and you can’t stop giggling. This is fun. You’re just about to ask if they fancy catching a movie tomorrow when they just vanish into thin air. They stop replying abruptly.
It’s nothing new. As a matter of fact, you’re used to it. They all do it all the time. It’s nothing personal. It’s just the way they are.
However, it makes them appear inconsistent and unreliable.
And it’s really aggravating!
For better communication with whoever you’re talking to, always let them know when you’ve got to go.
Say something like, “I’ve had a great time texting you! But I have to go back to work now :(“
If you’re super cool, you’ll even let them know when you’ll be back.
Keep Things Short and Snappy
Always remember that you’re not composing a novel, and that the other person doesn’t have the time or energy (or interest) to read through a whopper of a text.
If you want to be super engaging and you want to communicate better via texting, keep things brief.
Don’t waffle on about your day. “Oh, I got up late which was annoying and then I stubbed my to on the bath before burning my tongue on coffee. Then I got on the bus at last and this girl kept staring at me which was annoying for real like wtf.”
Be more like: “My day was OK – missed alarm, burnt tongue, and stubbed toe aside!
Discriminate. Get to the funny or worth reading stuff, and leave out the chatter in between. Keep the juice but discard all else.
I recently matched with this guy on bumble. We hit it off in the chat and he gave me his number. We have been texting back and forth however he doesn’t usually text first. One night he left a text saying he hopes I had a good day which was sweet . He often complains of having no one to hang out with but I have suggested we meet and seems to go pushed under the rug. What do I do?
It’s nice to hear from you 🙂 If he keeps avoiding a face to face meet up then maybe he is just looking for someone fun to chat with, and not an actual relationship (there are surprisingly a lot of guys out there doing just that). I would try the fun route with something like “Ready to meet, or are you still Googling me? :)” If he still doesn’t make a move after a few hints like that, then I would stop making an effort to communicate with him.
Hey so there’s a friend of mine and We talked much in past few months but then he said that I lack humor and he don’t get what he want to read by my texts so how can I improve my conversation skills over text ?
I’m sorry to hear that you are having trouble connecting with your crush. Try and keep your texts short (not longer than one screen), use emojis if you think he might not understand you are joking and try to focus conversations on things you know he’s interested in (no rants, or the type of stories you would tell your girlfriends). Bring up inside jokes, or make new ones. Tease him and keep things light.