Dating at any age can be complicated and overwhelming, but dating over 40 is a particularly tricky minefield to navigate. While you now have the experience that comes with age (of knowing exactly who you are and what you want), you’ve suddenly found yourself dumped into a dating scene that doesn’t look anything like the one you left behind years ago.

It’s no longer about meeting a nice guy in class or giving your phone number to a friend of a friend and waiting by your landline for “the call”. Now it’s all about updating your online profile on dating sites, going to new places, sending that first email or message, and late night texts. With that in mind, here are some texting rules and advice to help you if you’re dating over 40 – a lot of which, let’s face it, are probably good to follow at any age!

Online dating is a viable and empowering option for individuals over 40 looking for meaningful relationships.

Sounds like a lot to master, huh? Not really. Don’t worry, the game may look different, but you just need to learn the new rules. These days, it’s all about mastering modern communication, so read on, and find out how to dive headfirst into the over 40 dating scene with these 5 texting tips.

1. Preparing for Dating in My 40s

Dating in your 40s can be a thrilling experience, but it’s essential to prepare yourself for the journey. Reflect on your past relationships and identify what you’ve learned from them. This will help you approach dating with a clearer understanding of what you want and what you’re looking for in a partner. Take time to focus on yourself and your personal growth. This can include pursuing hobbies, practicing self-care, and working on your self-confidence. Consider what your relationship goals are and what you’re looking for in a partner. This will help you navigate the dating pool and make informed decisions about who you want to spend your time with. Be open-minded and willing to try new things. Dating in your 40s can be a great opportunity to meet new people and try new experiences. Don’t be afraid to seek advice from friends, family, or a therapist. They can offer valuable insights and support as you navigate the dating scene.

1. Take It Slow

Just because you’re both mature adults who know what they want, that doesn’t mean you have to put all your cards on the table just yet. Don’t hand out too much information too fast – a little bit of mystery goes a long way. Likewise, don’t expect too much information from the get go. Bombarding him or her with text messages trying to get too close too soon will have the opposite effect and actually push them away.

Instead, take it nice and slow by sticking to light conversation topics over text message. Be flirty, fun, and organize your next date – virtual or face-to-face. Maintaining a positive mindset is crucial, as showing distrust or disdain can discourage them from wanting to pursue a second or third date.

Embrace The New: Start Online Dating

When you’re dating after divorce in your early forties in a dating over 40 scene, it’s easy to slip into the same old habits that you had with your ex.

Don’t do that. Remember that you’re dating someone new, with new interests, desires, and styles. Old jokes, overly romantic or sexual texts, and pet names that you’ve used before are all big no-no’s with someone fresh.

Instead, try to create your own new love story together. You’re a fresh canvas. Make new inside-jokes based on recent dates, revel in the first time that he or she sends you a totally fresh romantic text, and make it special the first time you send them a risqué one right back.

It’s all about “out with the old and in with the new”.

Stay Positive With Self Confidence

It’s easy to get caught up in your own drama and walk into every new relationship with a giant chip on your shoulder, but you need to make an effort to turn that negativity around. In dating over 40, everyone you meet has a colorful story – you’re not the only one to feel lost, betrayed, or disappointed.

Mutual respect is crucial for fostering genuine connections. Appreciate each other’s unique contributions and perspectives to set the stage for healthy interactions. Don’t use text messaging to vent frustration, or complain to your new man or woman about anything, old or new. Stay light, positive, and flirty while texting, and that’s how they will think of you.

Be Brief On Your First Date

An all-important rule of dating over 40 or at any age is to ALWAYS keep it short, and sweet.

Write every text message with the intention of making them smile, and you’re well on your way to scoring Mr. or Mrs. Right. Intelligent people understand the importance of authenticity and brevity in communication. Whatever you do, save your boring essays for someone else (say, a really good friend who loves you no matter what), but keep it under wraps around your love interest. Long, drawn out texts kill passion and romance, and are labor intensive to respond to. If you have a lot to say, pick up the phone or schedule a Skype Call.

6. Navigating the Dating Pool

The dating pool can be overwhelming, especially in your 40s. Be clear about what you’re looking for in a partner. This will help you weed out people who aren’t a good match for you. Don’t be afraid to take things slow. It’s better to get to know someone gradually than to rush into a relationship. Pay attention to red flags. If someone is consistently late, dismissive, or disrespectful, it may be a sign that they’re not a good match for you. Keep an open mind. Don’t dismiss someone just because they don’t fit your ideal mold. You may be surprised by how much you have in common with someone who doesn’t seem like your typical type. Practice self-care. Dating can be emotionally draining, so make sure to take time for yourself and prioritize your own needs.

7. First Date Etiquette

The first date can be nerve-wracking, but it’s also an opportunity to get to know someone new. Be respectful and courteous. Treat your date with kindness and respect, even if you’re not sure if there’s a romantic connection. Be yourself. Authenticity is key on a first date. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or pretend to have interests you don’t really have. Listen actively. Pay attention to what your date is saying and show that you’re interested in getting to know them. Keep the conversation balanced. Don’t dominate the conversation or ask too many questions. Make sure to share your own thoughts and experiences. Be mindful of body language. Make eye contact, smile, and use open and engaged body language to show that you’re interested in your date.

8. Building a Connection

Building a connection with someone takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. Be vulnerable. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner. This will help you build trust and intimacy. Practice active listening. Pay attention to what your partner is saying and show that you’re interested in getting to know them. Show appreciation and gratitude. Express your gratitude for your partner and the things they do for you. Be present. Put away your phone and other distractions and focus on the present moment. Cultivate shared interests. Find activities and hobbies that you both enjoy and make time for them in your relationship.

Dating Over 40 Mix Up Your Dating Pool

Times haven’t changed that much, you still need a variety of communication methods to keep things alive.

Texting should only be a portion of your modern communication arsenal – like an appetizer, texts are there to wet your hunger and satisfy you until the bigger meal. Coax him or her into calling you, with suggestive texts about wanting to hear their voice. Once you’ve started talking, the transition from casual messaging to a more personal connection begins. Email them a special photo or send them an article on something they are interested in, such as grilling or running, or literature. Variety avoids things from going stale.

Dating Over 40 Text Your Way To Success

Getting back into the game of dating over 40 doesn’t have to be hard. Embrace the changes that have occurred and focus on how to attract men by setting clear intentions and expectations. Soon you’ll be able to jump straight back into the playing field with no problems at all. And if you ever get lost along the way, just refer straight back to these texting tips for dating over 40, and you’ll always stay on the right path. And as always, I’m always just an email or comment away! Bisous x Claudia

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Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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1 Comment

  1. Great advice. I think #1 is a real challenge for older people. They have usually had a long term relationship that lasted for awhile and it can be easy to be impatient to try to skip right to the deep connection, which of course will probably ruin your chances.
    Doug

    MrDougCampbell.com

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