Dating at any age can be complicated and overwhelming, but dating over 40 is a particularly tricky minefield to navigate. While you now have the experience that comes with age (of knowing exactly who you are and what you want), you’ve suddenly found yourself dumped into a dating scene that doesn’t look anything like the one you left behind years ago.
It’s no longer about meeting a nice guy in class or giving your phone number to a friend of a friend and waiting by your landline for “the call”. Now it’s all about updating your online profile, going to new places, sending that first email or message, and late night texts.
5 Rules Dating Over 40
Sounds like a lot to master, huh? Not really. Don’t worry, the game may look different, but you just need to learn the new rules. These days, it’s all about mastering modern communication, so read on, and find out how to dive headfirst into the over 40 dating scene with these 5 texting tips.
1. Take It Slow
Just because you’re both mature adults who know what they want, that doesn’t mean you have to put all your cards on the table just yet. Don’t hand out too much information too fast – a little bit of mystery goes a long way. Likewise, don’t expect too much information from from the get go. Bombarding him or her with text messages trying to get too close too soon will have the opposite effect and actually push them away.
Instead, take it nice and slow by sticking to light conversation topics over text message. Be flirty, fun, and organize your next date – virtual or face-to-face.
2. Embrace The New
When you’re dating after divorce in a dating over 40 scene, it’s easy to slip into the same old habits that you had with your ex.
Don’t do that. Remember that you’re dating someone new, with new interests, desires, and styles. Old jokes, overly romantic or sexual texts, and pet names that you’ve used before are all big no-no’s with someone fresh.
Instead, try to create your own new love story together. You’re a fresh canvas. Make new inside-jokes based on recent dates, revel in the first time that he or she sends you a totally fresh romantic text, and make it special the first time you send them a risqué one right back.
It’s all about “out with the old and in with the new”.
3. Stay Positive
It’s easy to get caught up in your own drama and walk into every new relationship with a giant chip on your shoulder, but you need to make an effort to turn that negativity around. In dating over 40, everyone you meet has a colorful story – you’re not the only one to feel lost, betrayed, or disappointed.
Don’t use text messaging to vent frustration, or complain to your new man or woman about anything, old or new. Stay light, positive, and flirty while texting, and that’s how they will think of you.
4. Be Brief
An all-important rule of dating over 40 or at any age is to ALWAYS keep it short, and sweet.
Write every text message with the intention of making them smile, and you’re well on your way to scoring Mr. or Mrs. Right. Whatever you do, save your boring essays for someone else (say, a really good friend who loves you no matter what), but keep it under wraps around your love interest. Long, drawn out texts kill passion and romance, and are labor intensive to respond to. If you have a lot to say, pick up the phone or schedule a Skype Call.
5. Dating Over 40 Mix It Up
Times haven’t changed that much, you still need a variety of communication methods to keep things alive.
Texting should only be a portion of your modern communication arsenal – like an appetizer, texts are there to wet your hunger and satisfy you until the bigger meal. Coax him or her into calling you, with suggestive texts about wanting to hear their voice. Email them a special photo or send them an article on something they are interested in, such as grilling or running, or literature. Variety avoids things from going stale.
Dating Over 40 Text Your Way To Success
Getting back into the game of dating over 40 doesn’t have to be hard. Embrace the changes that have occurred, and you’ll be able to jump straight back into the playing field with no problems at all. And if you ever get lost along the way, just refer straight back to these texting tips for dating over 40, and you’ll always stay on the right path. And as always, I’m always just an email or comment away! Bisous x Claudia
Ready To Up Your Texting Game?
Get my best selling How To Text eBook and watch your romantic life change forever. Click here to learn more
Great advice. I think #1 is a real challenge for older people. They have usually had a long term relationship that lasted for awhile and it can be easy to be impatient to try to skip right to the deep connection, which of course will probably ruin your chances.