Texting is a wonderful way to create intimacy, desire, and to preserve your rightful position in your dream partner’s heart. It’s meant to enhance your relationship. However, sometimes texting slowly consumes the entire relationship and becomes boring, or even annoying. How does this happen? It often starts when you begin texting a guy too much. Read on for tips on how much guys really want to be texted... and if you could be guilty of overdoing it.

What are the rules for texting guys? Is it possible to be guilty of texting a guy too much? Where can texting have the biggest impact in your life? While texting is a great tool for keeping in touch with friends, asking traveling colleagues quick business questions, or finding people in large events, it might be surprising to learn that it’s real power lies in developing and cementing romantic relationships.

Therefore, keep in mind that with texting, less is often more. Texting is so convenient, inexpensive, and fast that it’s easy to get carried away. Read on for helpful tips and tricks to keep you on track and use it’s power to your advantage

Improve Your Relationship By Following These Rules For Texting Guys

Today texting is a global phenomenon. A fantastic form of communication that can be used to enhance your relationships. However, before you get text happy….check out these hints on how to stop yourself from going overboard.

1. Remember That For Guys, Less is More

Open communication is a sign of a healthy relationship, but when it comes to texting, is it possible for a woman to over-communicate and be guilty of texting a guy too much?

Before we take a closer look at this question, it’s important to point out that most guys love receiving texts from their partner, particularly texts conveying the message “I’m thinking of you” (hopefully in more ways than one).

Picture this: Your guy is waiting in line for his morning coffee, and suddenly his cell phone flashes a message from you that says, “Can’t wait until tonight,” or the all-time favorite, “Guess what I’m wearing ;)”.

A fun, flirty message from you will be sure to perk him up more than his coffee ever could. In fact, he’ll probably mentally thank the guy who invented texting right then and there.

But there’s a big difference between one text saying “Can’t wait until tonight” and 50 texts demanding “What are you doing?”

Many times, guys view “What are you doing?” texts as nothing more than a chore to reply to, rather than their girlfriend or wife showing a healthy interest in them. Be creative with your texts, and always wait for a response before sending another message.

2. Stop With The Mundane Texts

If you text him: “I just ate a hamburger and I am SOOOOO full!!”, it probably isn’t going to score you many romance points. There’s no need to send him an update about every little thing you do.

Think of each text message as something that requires precision, like applying makeup. Just as you probably wouldn’t put your eyeliner on in a dark closet, don’t send your man just old thing that comes to mind.

Plan and execute each message artfully – and don’t forget the “text mascara,” – a good dose of your personality!

3. Don’t Spam Him With Updates On Minor Work Issues

The same goes for professional issues such as, “Lisa called in sick and now I have to make coffee!” Put yourself in his place; how would you respond if you received a message like that? There’s not much to work with.

4. Limit The Frustration Frustration Texts

This type of text is when you tell your guy something he really can’t do anything about, such as, “Lost a quarter in the dryer downstairs this morning.” Try to limit these.

So, next time you find yourself faced with one of these three types of messages, press Delete instead of Send. Avoiding these text bombs will almost guarantee that your partner will continue to smile, instead of groan, when he sees your name pop up on his list of incoming messages.

It will also prevent you from being “black listed,” meaning, triggering a subconscious (or conscious) reaction in his brain that tells him that your messages aren’t important or interesting enough to read right away. Your texts should make his heart race, not make him yawn!

5. Always Respect The Time & Place

Communication is a very important element in a relationship. Sharing not only your problems, but also your personal thoughts with your partner creates intimacy, and a sense of connection. However, keep in mind that for most deep conversations, texting is not the appropriate medium.

If you have a major decision coming up, and would like your special someone’s opinion, then instead of texting him: “I was just offered a 6 month position in Japan, what do you think?”, plan a quiet moment where you can sit down together and discuss the situation in detail.

6. Don’t Get Into The Habit Of Remote Nagging

The issue of texting a guy too much becomes even more critical when you live together, or you see each other a lot. You might think nothing of sending multiple texts to your partner throughout the day, but he may feel it’s unnecessary, as you’re going to be together later in the day anyway.

This perceived difference in the quantity of communication can cause problems, and he might start thinking of your text messages as nagging. Try to “feel out” his comfort level, and respect it. If he starts responding with one-word texts, or stops responding altogether, it’s probably a sign that you need to cool it, or change the type of messages you’re sending.

7. Final Rules For Texting Guys: Keep Your Texts Special & Always Make Them A Treat

Perhaps the best way to avoid texting a guy too much is to view texting as a special tool in the relationship, and not the entire relationship itself. Use it wisely for sending these two types of  “relationship friendly” types of messages:

A. Vital information

What time you plan on meeting at the movie theater, if you’re running late, etc. These texts are definitely useful; still, it’s always a good idea to make sure that even these functional texts don’t become too dry. A text message sent without a small dose of your personality is a wasted opportunity.

For example, instead of writing, “Be home at 7pm tonight” you could write, “Leaving work early to buy you an enormous Kegerator for our basement, hope you don’t mind :-).” The first message gets your point across, but it won’t stick in his mind and make him think of you the way the second message would.

B. Flirty messages

You can use texts to create desire and re-ignite the spark in your relationship. When sending flirty messages, be specific. Let him know that his smile melts your heart, or his strong arms make you feel safe and “frisky.” For example “You looked hot this morning. I love the way your blue shirt brings out the color of your eyes.”

His face will light up, and you will be on his mind for a lot longer than it took him to read your text. Try it, and see for yourself. He will appreciate a flirty message from you much more than “My dog just did the funniest thing” with a photo of your pet Muffy’s head stuck in a cereal box. Save Muffy for your best friend.

Follow These Rules For Texting Guys And He Will Crave You

Text messages are a wonderful opportunity to keep him thinking about you and actually craving your company, even when you’re apart. Keep them special. Before you hit Send, consider the value of your text – make it count!

If you just HAVE to send a text, and you feel your fingers twitching as you break out in a cold sweat, then do yourself a favor and text someone else, even yourself. Keep these rules for texting guys handy…and use them!

Remember, don’t become lazy and allow your text messages to start resembling boring post-it notes. Instead, use texts as the amazing, intimate communication tool that they are.

Ready to take your texting game to the next level? Unlock the full potential of your cell phone with our exclusive 3-month Texting Club membership, boasting over 2,000 captivating text messages. Say goodbye to dull exchanges and hello to a world of effortless and flirty communication. Join now and experience the thrill of connecting like never before!

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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  1. well i really like this guy who’s a grade older than me, we always talk and its always fun! I pretty much fell in love with my bestfriend.Im pretty sure he likes me back but i cant be sure, if i ask and he says he doesnt like me then our friendship is ruined and its a risk i really dont wanna take. We always have lots of conversations but sometimes we dont know what to say so i need help with that. he always asks who i like and i dont know how to tell him i love him so help on that. and just also i need help to know if he likes me or not. I really appreciate whoever is willing to help me!


    1. Hi Kiana,
      I’ve been in the exact same place, and it’s tricky…before you say anything to him such as “do you like me” take a closer look at his body language. Does he face you when you’re talking to him? Does he seem relaxed around you? Does he look you in the eyes? If you think that he is doing some/all of these things, then reply with your own positive body language: stand close to him, make eye contact, smile and touch his shoulder or arm when you’re talking. He’s probably just as nervous as you, so when you give him a positive message that you’re interested in him, he might go ahead and make his move (if he wants to).
      Good luck!

    2. Hello admin, am living with my fiancé and we have one child, he says am boring, and he feels far from me and not connected, how can I repair our relationship? to make him interested.

      1. Hi Shna,
        I’m sorry to hear that you and your fiance are having problems. I would suggest sending him some spontaneous text messages letting him know what you love about him. For example, “Watching you with our baby makes me so happy…you are such a wonderful father” or “Falling into bed and feeling your warm body next to mine is heaven”. Be specific and genuine. In addition to sweet text messages, try making some of his favorite food, or surprising him with something he loves. Start with little acts of kindness and love and then move onto flirty/sexy things such as hotter text messages, massages with candles and special lingerie. I hope this can get you off to a good start!
        Bisous xo

      2. Hey,
        I actually ran into a similar problem. The way that I fixed this problem with my boyfriend, is that I tried tossing things up. Try finding a different thing to do one day that is different then every other day. Show that you care abut your relationship with him, and are willing to putt forth the effort to improve the relationship. If he does not appreciate the effort putt in on your behalf, then maybe it isn’t you. Maybe it is him, or maybe he just isn’t feeling it anymore.
        Thank you,
        Jennifer Kam

  2. Hi! I have a BIG problem. I “met” this guy on Tinder, and we started talking and realy hit it off. He never asked me for my number or anything, but he started following me on Instragram; so we would talk on the direct message part. Anyway, I was really interested in him but he never gave me signals of him being interested in me (keep in mind that at this point he still never asked for my number). One day I made the “mistake” of telling him he was always full of excuses, because he would take forever to respond a text; and he just replied ‘ok’ and never spoke to me again. I told him I was having a hard day and I just took it out on him, but nothing.
    And it’s not like he stoped following me on Instagram or cancel the match on Tinder. Ever the other day a asked him some directions because I had to go near his place and he replied but that was it. What should I do? Is it a lost cause and I lost all my chances or do I wait like a month with no contact what so ever just to see if he reacts? HELP ME PLEASE!!!

  3. i met a guy two years older than me two days ago. i actually wanted to rent a room that he’s helping to rent out for a friend and we just got each other’s phone numbers and all that. he texted me yesterday about the room and i didn’t want it anymore but then we just started talking and we really hit it off and i really want to keep in contact with him but i don’t know how to! how about some tips? HELP ME!

    1. Hey there,

      When you were talking to him did he mention anything special – for example that he loves a certain local band, or he likes going to a specific place, or he’s really into some kind of sport? If so, you could text him something like:

      “Metallica is coming to town on Saturday. Will you also be there?”

      If not, you could also let him know that you are up for a little face to face meeting by texting:

      “Texting has been fun, but I’m sure it can’t beat the real thing…”

      Both of these are good text messages, because it tells him you are interested in him, yet it still makes him do the chasing and ask you out (or at least follow up). Send me an email if you would like any other suggestions, I would love to help! [email protected]


  4. Alright, so I met this guy the begging of this school year and we just friends never really talked much. He had a girlfriend who broke up with him after the fifth week of school. He went out with my friend but that didn’t last long. It’s November now and he said he’s moving so I asked for his new phone number (I got his number like the second day of school, never really texted much) so we started texting over one weekend more and it was REALLY interesting and cute. he sent a lot of hearts and seemed to really enjoy conversation. He flirted a lot too. It sent a great feeling. On Monday after school I could tell something was wrong, he even texted “why does no one understand me? ” I asked what was wrong guy and he wouldn’t tell me. He just said he was fine and would get over it. This is where the texts were getting shorter. (btw he already knows I like him, it wasn’t awkward surprisingly) I believe I was bugging him too much with texts, conversation was getting short and he does reply fast but their short texts like Idk, cool, ah, and k. Today and yesterdays I was the first one to text him Which he usually is the first. He didn’t seem to want to keep conversation and I remember he wanted to Skype me really badly before and now he never asks. I know for a fact I kinda killed the conversations just because Im so into him, so I learned I need to control myself and think. I just really need information on how I could spark him up again and keep it going like it was.

  5. Dear Claudia, I recently found out that this guy likes me. Or so I was told by one of his friends. I had he number in my contacts from when we use to talk. So I started I regular conversation and we’ve been talking on and off for three days. But I’m the only one starting the conversations and texting first. Sometimes he answers OK, yep, or yeah to my questions and statements. Is he just shy or is he bored with me? What should I do?

    1. Dear Faithanne,
      Happy New Year! Thank you for reaching out! I don’t know all the details of your situation, but I would say in general that it’s normally not a good sign when a guy answers your text using a one word response, and doesn’t ask you any questions in return. I would try and meet him in person so you can get a better feel for the situation. Watch his body language – does he turn and face you when he’s talking to you? Does he smile at you and look in your eyes? Talk with him and try to connect on a few different subjects – they can be “inside jokes” or conversation topics for future text conversations. Please send me an email if I can help you further.
      Gros bisous

  6. Hey^^I M Sarah and I m 13 years old,I love a 16 years old boy…very much…but we never met each other…We met each other on fb…and we chat everyday.we never hv talked even..I confessed him that I love him..and I asked if he likes me or not..then he said that he likes me and on the other side he dosent.he is confused,and he said his friends that “Sarah is a intresting and a cute girl”
    But he said he can’t stay in relationship with me at this age,and he said…that he just wants to concentrate on his studies and wants me too…now..I want to know that how to know if he likes me?or not.
    He just says that we r nice friends^^And…tbnoh I start every conversations with him,,,and how to keep him intrested…when we talk…

    1. Hi Sarah,
      Hmmmm unfortunately I think that he is right…the age gap is too big. Plus, he lives far away. I would not continue chatting with him everyday. It is only going to make you have stronger feelings for him. Are there some guys at your school who are the same age as you, that seem cool? FB is great to keep in touch with friends and family, but I don’t think it’s a great way to start a relationship. It’s the same with texting. If it is only a text based relationship then it is destined to fail. Texting and keeping in touch via FB is a great addition to a relationship…but it should never be the entire relationship.

  7. Hello! i recently just got back in touch with a guy that has interest in me and vice versa we are friends… He asked me where I’m living at and I told him and I asked him where he’s staying. found out, it’s in the next tow from me. how do i keep the conversation going & interesting if I already asked to meet up in the previous message but he doesn’t know he’ll see?

    1. Hi Mo,
      It’s great to hear from you! I hope your week is off to a wonderful start! 🙂 If you already asked him to meet up and he answered “I’ll see”, I would let him make the next move. You have given him the green light to ask you out, he knows you live close by, now he needs to take action! For the time being, I wouldn’t try and engage him in conversation. I would just wait and see what happens next…and in the meantime I would go out and meet other guys…

  8. Here’s the last part of the conversation. I asked what do you like to do for fun? His reply studio babe let’s just meet up and we’ll figure it out
    I said, cool, cool. sounds good! i’m down when where you thinking ??
    Him- whenever
    Then I replied i’m free this Friday. Anytime after 3.
    How do you think the conversation went? Just going to let him make the next move

    1. Hey Mo,
      Once again…it’s up to him to make the next move and finalize solid plans with you. “Let’s just meet up” doesn’t count. In the meantime, keep yourself busy doing stuff that makes you happy (sports, shopping, being outside…). If he is worth the time and energy…he’ll come around 🙂

  9. Hey! I just joined and I really need help with my crush. He already has a girlfriend but I don’t think he’s really interested in her because everytime my best friend and I catches his girlfriend talking to him, he’s not even looking at her or even smiling. He’s popular by the way so he probably dates random girls for fun or i dont even know. We texted on Instagram via Direct Message so I’m always excited for when he replies. Last year, he replied with “Hi” and I was so shocked but I only realised this year. I’m trying to send funny texts and for once, we were talking about his friend and I replied with “BAHHAHAHAHAH” and he replied “hahah” and he actually sent haha <3 Now I'm texting him because I really want to have a conversation and he's replying with "k" everytime I say something. But I just noticed he replied fast :O I'm just 13 and I really want him to notice me. Please help Claudia!

    1. Hi Angie,
      It’s really nice to hear from you! 🙂 I have been thinking about your situation, and it’s tricky. First of all, he already has a girlfriend. Second, from what you have told me, he doesn’t seem like very good boyfriend material at the moment. Imagine if you were his girlfriend and he didn’t act very interested in what you were saying when you were talking to him…it wouldn’t be very nice, right? Just keep those 2 things in mind. OK, now to your question. If you want him to notice you and keep the conversation going, make sure that you ask him questions (everyone likes to feel interesting), ask him what he thinks about something or for his help (guys love to feel smart or useful), keep your conversations light (no ranting or boring texts) instead tease him “saw that you…” “oh so you think you are..” and make sure to use smiley faces so he knows you are teasing. Let me know if I can give you any other ideas.

      1. Thanks for the help, Claudia! 🙂
        I was actually thinking of when you said that if I pretended I was his girlfriend. That was pretty tricky and I never thought of it that way. Also, a couple of months ago, I actually sent a pretty boring text to him and I think that’s why he replied with “k” all the time. I will try and tease him once in a while and see if he’s interested with being smart and useful. I’ll talk to you soon when I need help! Thank you again! You’re really helpful 🙂


  10. Hello! Hope all is well! I had my first “get together” with my friend. I wouldn’t call it a date because i had text him early in the day & text me back he was getting in the shower… a couple hours passe….. still no reply so then I replied in a text ‘hey’. he replied with a ? mark. I said? are we still hanging out,, he replied ummm yeah whats the plan G? To make a long story short we met at a mall at 6pm. ate in the food court. walked to a couple shops in the mall. then walked to the park. after a couple hours we said bye and he said he would hit me up. I’m going to wait a couple days for him to contact me but if i don’t hear anything is it ok to contact him and see if we can get together again I would like to go on a date and be more planned ya know…???

    1. Hi Mona,
      It sounds like you had a fun time 🙂 I know it’s frustrating, but I would wait for him to contact you…if he said that he would, then he should. In the meantime I wouldn’t sit by my phone. I would try and meet other guys. The more options you have early on, the better. Even if you really like this guy, don’t give him too much power, at least not yet.

  11. Hi! You seem to be very helpful! (: I wanted to say thank you first of all for this article! And second of all for your helpfulness- you’re awesomeA! (: I apologize for this long story but here it goes:

    I got out of a relationship with a guy I was with for four months who wasn’t putting any effort into our relationship anymore and he also cheated on me- but when he split then he messaged me saying he missed me and things but I voiced my feelings about the whole situation and said it was better if we weren’t together- he said I broke his heart? Anyways, I started talking to this new guy- first time I decided to try online- I had previous relationships but they never worked out because no one ever put in effort it was always me making plans, and reaching out to make it work and I was tired of it. So I figured by going online that I would have a better chance of finding someone who had the same interests as me . So I did- I met this guy his name is Josh. He is a Marine Corp, and he was gorgeous! He is 20 and I am 18 almost 19. Anyways, I ended up finding out he’s stationed in Hawaii :/ when I found that out after a week after us talking I didn’t know how to react. He became upset because he thought I was done with him just because he was there. I’m in MI, right now:/ Anyways, I we had a huge discussion of what we wanted. And it seems to be going smoothly. This isn’t my issue though- I’ve never met him in person- but we have facetimed each other, text each other ALOT and snap chatted each other as well as face booked. He admitted to me he has strong feelings to me and I said I had them as well for him. He wanted to fly me out to Hawaii to see him this coming fall- problem is , I will be a college sophomore and if I left to go to Hawaii randomly in the fall I would need a good reason!So I brought up the nature of our predicament. I wanted to tell my mother of our relationship and post on facebook of us being together. But he said he wasn’t big on the world knowing his business. I understood that, even though labels are a big deal to me- so I said I would drop it. I however stupidly brought it up again, because even though I have a busy social, and work life I’m consumed with thoughts of him. :/ ALL THE TIME. I said I would feel bad if he paid for my trip there and back- so I said I’m working extra hard this summer ( for school , apartment) and to go see him( I don’t know when) but I would need a hella good reason for my mother especially where I was going. He avoided it oddly, so I asked him if he was ashamed that he met me online. He said he didn’t know. I told him my self- confidence went down the hole especially after being cheated on. And his replies were odd. Am I being selfish? I realize he is in training and sometimes he talks to me when he is not supposed to even have a phone- which makes me feels special and all. But, I don’t like the fact that I could be ashamed of. This is just me utilizing technology right? The funny part is- I’m slowly falling in love with him and I don’t know what to do. HELP ME please.
    Thanks for the read!

    1. Hi Bri,
      Thanks for reaching out, it’s always great to hear from a fellow Michigander! 🙂 I’m so sorry to hear about your ex cheating on you…it sounds like you made the right decision though (even if it was tough). Regarding the new guy, before you go all the way to Hawaii I would make sure that things are crystal clear between the two of you. That is a lonngggg trip and a huge investment both financially and emotionally. I don’t think you are being selfish wanting to know where you stand. If he has some hangups regarding online dating, I would let him know that it has become mainstream (there is nothing to be ashamed about). You can back it up with some numbers and tell him that online dating is the second most popular way to meet someone (22% of couples meet online, 24% meet through mutual friends). Whatever you do, don’t have these serious discussions with him via text, rather set some time aside to chat on Skype…it’s too easy to misinterpret things via text (especially when strong emotions are involved). Please email me if I can help you any more: [email protected]

  12. Hello Claudia,

    You do seem quite helpful so I’ll try this. I recently got bound up in a guy. Easy to put I’m a submissive and he’s a Dominant. We’ve been seeing each other 1-2 times a week and talking just about every day since April 24th, his birthday. Things have been going well. Sometimes there are gaps in his messages but I’ve limited myself to two texts. If he doesn’t respond then leave it. He usually texts later. I’ve spent the night a few times and I’ve met his mom and adore his dog. We’ve had some in depth convos and just had days where we would relax together. He’s told me to stop worrying about things and I try. Yesterday I was telling a friend about him and pulled up his profile from the site we talked on and he was logged in (I wasn’t since I did it from her phone). Shamefully enough I checked today and he was logged in again. My anxiety has kicked up that he is losing interest and looking back on the site again. He used to text me in the mornings when he goes to work but he doesn’t anymore. He has a few things going on and says he wants to take it slow which I expressed to him was a sound idea. We’ve also agreed that we aren’t looking for anything casual. Am I freaking out? Or is he definitely looking for something else now? I don’t pester and I try to keep my texts relatively interesting. I’m thinking it’s too soon to have the where are we heading or the what are we doing talk but we’ve started started being physical and concerned he may not be exclusive. Won’t bringing it up scare him off into not wanting to deal with me? If things are great why do guys lurk back onto thier profile? What can I do? My friend suggested I don’t text him for a few days and see what he does. He’s the first local Dom I’ve come across I actually like inside and out. Help please?

    1. Hi Sophie,
      Thank you for reaching out 🙂
      First of all, I want to be honest with you and let you know that I am not an expert on anything Dom/Sub…
      However, I have been thinking about your situation and I agree with your friend. I would stop texting him for a few days. Men like the “chase” so leave him hanging a little. Even if you really like him, it seems like he is still “checking out the market”. So, I would suggest doing the same thing. Start dating (or at least talking to) multiple guys…until you have “the talk” with him that you are exclusive. I realize that it’s annoying (because you already found the guy you like) but when you do this, you will give off a different vibe and make yourself even more attractive to him – without even knowing it.
      Please send me an email if I can help any more…

  13. HellOo!!! hope all is well with U (:
    ? Why does a man Txt you to come see him but when you reply back doesn’t get back to you. I understand people have a life too! And then I tried to meeting
    up with him the next day , asked in a text “when we chilling” replies Idk U tell me. I suggested the next day to hang out , he didn’t text back after that it’s been a day almost two days. I’m still doing things that I love to do and keeping myself busy, taking care of me 🙂 Should I leave him alone and move on ? Is he playing games?

    1. Hi Maria,
      It’s really nice to hear from you! 🙂 I’m sorry about your situation, I have been there so many times before, and it is really not very much fun. It sounds like you are doing everything right…I wouldn’t text him again. Wait. It’s up to him to come back to you now with a solid plan to meet up. In the mean time, just keep living your life, meeting other guys and taking care of yourself 🙂

  14. Hi Claudia,

    I just stop speaking with my crush a couple weeks ago because it felt like I was putting more into the friendship then him. I would text him.. then maybe get a reply back right away or a few hours or day’s l8ter.
    The last I heard from him was through text, he txt “what’s up”, i ask “wrudn today” then didn’t hear anything back til later on that night he asked me “what I was doing” I didn’t respond. It’s been almost 2 weeks and i just found out he’s going back to jail and won’t be back out until 2017. Should I contact him or let him get back in touch with me ? Apart of me want’s to see if he’ll reach out but then the other half of me is telling me to txt him…

    Thank you!

    1. Hi Angel,
      Hmmmm that is a difficult situation as he is going to be away until 2017. It seems like he has a lot on his plate at the moment, so I wouldn’t add to his stress. I would wait and see if he texts you. At the same time ask yourself if you are willing to wait until 2017 to spend time with him. A year of your life is a long time to invest in someone you don’t even know really well…

  15. Hi Claudia,
    So there’s this really smart (& hot) guy in my math class. We’ve spoken a few times before and it seems like he stares at me occasionally. Well, summer is here and I’m still trying to figure out how to get him to like me. Just recently my Instagram was hacked so I sent him a message asking for advice. That shows confidence in starting a conversation right? Thing is, this guy is known for his explanation skills and nonstop talking. I guess he has his own style and I’m trying to read it through his texts. So far he has sent me a huge explanation worth 5 sentences long. I replied with 2 words (“oh thx”) lol to not appear too eager. He texted back with more info. I literally put in one word “why?” And received 4 sentences. Well I felt guilty and wrote 3 sentences back on changing my password with humor added. He is the one finding more things to keep the conversation going now. I’m trying to be myself like I would with my best friend. How do I know if he likes me back or he is just bored and playing? Should I text him more and appear eager? Or should I play hard to get? Plz help?

    1. Hi Ivye,
      It’s really nice to hear from you 🙂 It sounds like you are having a fun conversation with this guy! The best way to tell if he really likes you or is just bored/playing with you is if he asks to meet up in person. If he just keeps texting and texting but never asks to see you (or talk to you on the phone) then he is probably just a pen pal. If he is a shy guy, then make it easy for him. For example tell him about something you are going to do “I’m going to be at the xyz festival on Saturday are you also going?” Then, wait for him to make the move to meet at the festival…
      Let me know if I can help you with anything else, I’m always here!

  16. Hey Claudia,

    I started talking to this guy roughly a month ago. We started talking online and we would talk all the time. He would even phone me randomly and it was awesome. We went on a few dates and I went back to his a couple of times and met his family When I see him it is awesome. Recently in the last week or so he started to chat with me less and be less keen to meet and stuff. I genuinely think it is because of his busy lifestyle. He does still reply but I just get this vibe he is not as into. Which really sucks because I am really falling for him. I think I need to calm down with the texting a bit and seem less keen, It is hard though. Any Advice?

    1. Hi Lucie,
      I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s really frustrating when things are going well with a guy you really like, and then all of a sudden he starts to slowly disappear. I agree with what you said. You need to keep it 1:1. Don’t send him multiple texts before receiving an answer from him. Also, be the person to end the conversation from time to time – leave HIM wanting more. And one last thing before I sign off, since you have only gone out on a few dates with him, don’t close yourself off to meeting other guys. Keep dating!

  17. You seem really helpful so I have a question. I have had a crush on a guy for a while. I have known him for about 2 years and we’ve been relatively good friends. Usually we test from time to time but nothing special. He recently just Brooke up with his girlfriend and has been texting me everyday for about a week and a half. Sometimes when he texts me he will be super flirty and suggest we hang out. Other times the conversation will be so mundane I question why were even talkoing. How do I know if he likes me and how do I keep him interested with the conversation?

    1. Hi there,
      It’s nice to hear from you! 🙂 First of all, if he recently broke up with his girlfriend you need to be very careful (you don’t want to be the rebound girl – that’s not fun). So, I would keep your text conversation casual (yet flirty – weave in some compliments, be playful and and make sure that you text him 1 for 1). If a conversation starts to become mundane, be the person to end it – tell him you have to go – nothing kills romance faster than boring or negative conversations. If he is texting you every day and asking you to hang out it sounds like he is interested in you, however he could be texting other girls too. So, like I said, be careful…

  18. Hi Claudia,

    There’s a hot guy in class which I recently signed up for. We have lessons once a week and I only get to see him there. We started with Snapchat message after 2 months of class and later he suggested to directly whatsapp as he’s forgetful. He texted me quite frequently at first and asked me a lot of those ‘get to know each other questions, but lately it takes like half day for me to receive his reply. I have waited a fare share of time before throwing him a related question of our last topic. He then replied a lot, which makes me think that he just forgot the conversation we were having when he woke up the next day.
    But this situation repeats again and I don’t know if I should expect less from him. I have feelings for him and I am really patient in waiting for his reply before sending him another one. I think he must have been interested at first, but I am worrying if my texts were not interesting enough to keep him being exciting to talk to me… is there any sign for me to tell?

    1. Hi Louise,
      Hmmm, I don’t think it is a problem with your text messages, I think it’s the fact that you only see him once a week in class (where it is difficult to chat and flirt). Instead of continuing to text him, I would ask him for his help/advice with something and see if he has time for a coffee. Try to get to know him a little bit better in person. Watch his body language. Is it open? Does he keep eye contact? Touch you? Those are the types of signs I would look out for. Otherwise, it’s just a “pen pals thing” and it’s going to fizzle regardless of how interesting your texts are…

  19. so I am in my mid 30s I this guy online (tinder) and we chatted for a few months and ended up meeting in a hotel room .of course i knew it was just goin to be a fling of sorts and kind of self destructed the suituation as i told him things to make him not like me so i wouldnt get hurt . but it didnt really work because it seemed i actally really liked the guy even though i tired not too after we checked out of the hotel i was really awkward thinking to myself wtf as i am not usally the type to drive nearly 4 hours to see a guy he traveled 2 hours . so anyway he said he we should do this again i didnt really belive him he txt me the next day then i didnt hear from him in just over a week ghosted me basicly anyway he has his own busniess and when i did talk to him again via message he was talking about work and bhah bhah and i said i could help him out which i made a few calls . then we just kept in contact once a week and i found out he was seeing someone he confided in me as we where just friends so that was fine. moving on a couple of months we still kept in contact and a conversation was a bit frisky he was comming down to where i lived for a meeting and we decided to meet so he turned up did the dirty and had a chat but then when he was leaving i just felt that awkwardness again. so we still kept in contact as usual and a month passed after that month i messaged him maybe twice and he again never replied since then i have left him alone and havent messaged him has been about a month now but i still see he looks at my social media and fb never likes or comments thou. his loss but i sometimes feel the need to message him but just dont. I am still hooked on him thou would be nice to just get over it any ideas?

    1. Hi Sai,
      It sounds like he is not ready to invest in a real relationship at the moment, and you are just going to keep making yourself crazy if you stay in contact with him. I would suggest getting rid of any past text messages, chats, etc. from him. Copy and paste them (along with his contact information) into an email, send it to yourself and then delete him from your contacts, from instant messengers, etc. It’s kind of like starting a diet, you want to throw away the cakes and the cookies so they aren’t a temptation. Just like seeing his text messages might be a temptation to contact him. Keep them for the future as maybe there are some good text message ideas in there that you can reuse…
      Then, start dating other guys. Ask your friends to set you up. Sign up for some new classes or go to new places (bars, cafes, gyms…). Get online. Do whatever you need to do to meet new guys and forget this guy.

  20. Hello
    So there is this guys I like alot , we are at the same university he is doing IT and am doing BCS the first time we met it was at9pm we talked until 03am and kissed….now i didn’t know what to say the following day ,couse I liked this guys even before we kissed however I don’t want to be in any relationship right now this is just the first semester…and the other problem is that my friend likes him too and she has no idea the him and I kissed since then we have never talked about it,. We all just pretend like nothing happened what do I do?

    1. Hi there,
      As you don’t want to be in a relationship right now (and the situation seems complicated as your friend also likes the guy) I would continue to pretend like nothing happened. If he wants to talk about it, tell him that you think he’s a great guy, but it’s your first semester and you want to be single. Who knows, maybe at the end of the year the situation will have changed – you will be ready for a relationship and your friend might have met the guy of her dreams 🙂 Enjoy your first semester!

      1. Hey , i met this guy 3 months ago we happen to have a great time everytime we have a chance to hangout. We have chemistry but the texting has been a problem for me . Texting happens to be so boring like “what are you up too” “hows work” ..etc that happens to be the topic of an everyday texting . and i just dont know how to get to know him and ask better questions and i want to keep him interested , help!!

        1. Hi there,
          I would suggest weaving in some of the inside jokes, or specific things that happened when you were together (you said you had great chemistry) into your text messages. Then, you could ask him fun questions – for example there is a game that I love called Quick Fire. You tell him that he can pick 1 and then you ask him a series of questions. Such as red or white, Beyonce or Jlo, Flats or heels, etc. You learn a lot about him, it’s fun and then he can ask you a series of questions. You can also ask him questions about his hobbies – or even for his help (guys love to save the day :). Send me an email if I can help more.

  21. Aloha,
    I have just begun dating a man, even though we saw each other everyday, sparks flew and he started taking me out. Been out with him about six times, and he treats me so respectfully. He invited me over one night to his place. He had it all planned. He took off work. The chemistry was great…but I thought for sure spending the night with him would fall back on me, but he called two days later and asked me to dinner. Som e of the excitement has died down, and we’ve moved to a new level. He seems to have backed away emotionally. I’m thinking he’s scared. He said from the beginning he would never get married again.we are both older, his marriage ended in divorce three years ago, and my husband passed away last year. It is getting a bit strained and award ward. He knows I like him. He went on a planned trip for ten days. Should I let him know through a text that I’m thinking of him in some way? Or should I just wait until he returns home. I really feel him pulling away, and I would like to rekindle the feelings we had when we first started dating. If I don’t text him in these ten days, will he see it as I’ve lost interest in him? He is spending time with family during this holiday time…will he see my text as bothering him, or should I text him. And what are some things I can say in the text to make him smile and enjoy my contact with him? Thanks for your advice. 🙂

    1. Hi Dianne,
      I would send one “thinking of you” text message to him during his vacation, and then I would wait and see. You could send him something sweet (and a tad bit sexy) such as: “Thinking about your kisses, your smile, your touch…hope you are having a wonderful time with your family. Big kiss”
      Then, when he gets back I would have an open and honest conversation with him (face to face). If he is backing off and emotionally unavailable you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak, and it might be time to move on. I know it’s hard, but sometimes it really is HIM, not you. And you can’t do anything to change it. It’s not about being more flirty, beautiful or even kind. It’s about someone not being open to letting others in their life. Let me know if I can help you with anything else…stay strong.
      Bisous x

  22. Hello!
    So have read some of the advice you have been giving out and thought i would give it a try….
    I recently met a girl online ,he is a little older than me but i like that he is abit old.long story short.we met after chatting online for a few weeks,it went really well and he asked me on a date after two days of the first meeting.but events that followed were weird,he had flu(which I also did)so we ended up canceling and he set another date(all these are done by him,i haven’t initiated anything),so we were to meet right after Christmas but right before 2hrs of meeting me ,he sends a text that he has to help out his friends who had had accident,he even sent the photos for evidence..but he didn’t say that was gona stop him from coming..so i waited but no show..as a concerned girl,i called to ask..but did cut him short by saying I had to go to bed(besides his explanation for not showing up wasn’t that concrete .He texted me the next morning apologizing and asking me to find it in my heart to go on a date with him.we continue to text,but i don’t really text that much(btw it’s on both sides).when i log on the dating profile I see him online(but am also online,so I don’t want him thinking I will just sit and wait for.But with all that said ,i actually like him,find him really attractive.he told me to let him know when he can take me on that date he seems to always miss.so I don’t know what to do.he is like into or am just a phase.

    Ps(sorry for the long text)
    Hope you have a lovely new year.

    1. Hi Monique,
      Happy New Year! 🙂 Well, the accident story does sound kind of fishy. But, if you enjoy communicating with him, and find him attractive, I would give him another chance. So, go for it and set up a date! However, if he flakes a third time, I would erase his number and move on.
      Let me know how it goes. Sending tons of positive energy your way!
      Bisous x

  23. hi claudia,
    i met this guy who is older 4years older than me, and im falling in love , we both had spent a night together! and i dont really txt him , so should i text him or i shudn’t? he is a kind where he doesnt really fall in love
    could you help me?

    1. Hi Sonia,
      Does he call you on the phone? How do you communicate? I would text him after he calls you next time. Text him thanks for the call and that you loved hearing the sound of his voice (hopefully that will make him want to call more often 🙂 Just make sure that you don’t text him too much, and that you give him time to answer. Let me know if you need any creative text ideas. Send me an email: [email protected]

  24. Hi claudia

    I met a guy online. He would txt me every morning on his way to work and during the day. He would called me only when he is driving but nerver when he is home or on his lunch break. If we were talking on the phone the minute he gets home he can’t talk. So when I asked him about it he said he lives with parents and siblings. He also said that he can’t talked or texted 24hrs a day. He said he want me to visit him because he works 5days a week and goes to school 4days a week at night. He is off on the weekends but I works the weekends. I don’t know if I should trust him or not. He is very nice and he don’t pressure about loving right of the bat. He said understand me when I said that we should get to know the other before you jump the guns. He comply to my demand;I just don’t think he is being sincere.

    1. Hi Queen love,
      I think you need to trust your gut…if it is telling you that he is not being sincere, he probably isn’t. Even if he is living with his parents and his siblings, he should be able to call or text you. If you do decide to continue communicating with him, please make sure to take it slow.

  25. I am currently texting this guy and we talk very much.I always initiate the texting but he loves talking to me,immediately I text him I get a very quick reply from him.He is difficult to read ,I like him but I don’t know if he feels the same way because he hardly ever starts a conversation

    1. Salut 🙂
      Have you ever stopped texting him for 4-5 days to see if he contacts you? I know it sounds very old school, but if he really likes you he should be initiating the conversation at least some of the time…

  26. Hi Claudia, I hope all is well 🙂 A guy friend of mine went to prison almost over a year ago and didn’t tell me when he left.But before he left we had been talking, texting and I have seen him once during last summer before he went away. He only has 4-5mths til he gets out of prison but is able to still get emails. Do you think it’s okay for me to contact him online to see how he’s doing? if so, what should I say? or wait til he’s out.

    1. Hi Monia,
      It’s really nice to hear from you! 🙂 I think it’s OK if you contact him. Do you know what kind of things he is interested in? Ask specific questions about these topics – such as music, movies, etc. Keep your messages upbeat and I’m sure that you will keep him interested.

  27. Also, dont want to boring and ask the same questions, other girls probably asked. I just don’t know how to get to know him and ask better questions and I want to keep him interested, help(:

  28. Hi, how are you? (-: what would you say to someone who is away in jail that you haven’t heard from after you’ve asked them how they’ve been? and they let you know there in jail and would like your number.

    Thank you

    1. Hi Saha,
      I guess it depends on how well you know them, and how comfortable you feel around them. If you are just giving them your number to be polite, then don’t do it…and if you think giving them your number would put in a potentially dangerous situation, then don’t do it. Listen to your gut.

  29. Hi Claudia,i hope your fine.

    I am in a relationship with a guy who was a 6 years separeted with her wife and we have 5years gap.im still single..our relationship starts as full of joy and dreams but a year ago he seems like his not the one i meet before…his became dominant and feelin like im nothing to him…because he know that i love him soomuch…his always block me when he was angry upon our conversation….he want always me to chase him.apologizing him even his mistakes..and he didnt mind if what hurtful words he says when he get angry..he is a perfectionsist guy upon my messages..even i didnt intended to make him angry…so i dont relly know if he really loves me..were 19months now and it seems like getting worst..what do i do to bring back the love and joy of our relationship….to bring back his attention and loyalty upon me???
    should i block him if he block me??
    should i message him or call him to chase him??
    or i give him space and wait for his message or call??

    1. Hi Shirley,
      It seems to me like there are a lot of things that you need to talk about with him…in person. I would definitely NOT start a text conversation asking him any of these questions. I would also not start playing games (blocking him, chasing him, etc.) The best thing you can do right now is sit down with him and have an open and honest discussion. Find out why he seems unhappy, where he sees the relationship going, etc. If he doesn’t have time to talk to you, or is still being mean and aggressive I would step back, give him space and start thinking about moving on to someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

  30. Hi Claudia..hope you are good…I kinda have a little problem.. I love this guy …I fell in love with him at first sight and he have not seen me before…but he added me on Facebook because I commented on his photo… We have been chatting for a while now and I keep loving him but I don’t know if he love me also.we attend the same college and we planning on seeing when we resume… I really want him and I kinda tell him I love him today on chat…he was surprised and I became so emotional.. I dont know what to do anymore…I want him to love me..I Dont know if he love me..what will I do to make him love me?

    1. Hi Ayomide,
      It’s nice to hear from you! 🙂 I think that it’s great you are meeting up face to face. But…I would cool it for the time being via text (don’t tell him you love him again). Take it slow and see if he is as wonderful in person as he is on FB and via text. If you go to the meeting super nervous and wanting to impress him you are probably do the exact opposite – not make a good impression. So, keep your text messages light, flirty and fun. Don’t tell him your life story, and don’t put all your energy into thinking about him. The day you go to meet him, do something that relaxes you and puts you in a good mood (like working out, then pampering yourself, listening to music, etc.). I hope it works out with him, but if it doesn’t you will meet the guy you are meant to be with.

  31. Hi Claudia

    I met a guy over the holidays but he had to go back overseas as that is where he is working. We only saw eachother a few times but really hit it off. I don’t know when he will be back but we have been speaking regularly. I want to keep the conversation exciting and interesting, but I also don’t know if talking to him will be in my best interest.
    I am also unsure as to whether he wants this to progress into something or not. Some days our conversation is amazing, and other times I feel like he is distant and disinterested.
    Your advice will be really helpful!

    1. Hi Leora,
      Is his overseas assignment only temporary? If it’s not, then I don’t think it’s in your best interest to pursue a relationship with him. You might end up spending years communicating with him, with no chance of ever building something together in person. If it is only a temporary assignment, then just enjoy getting to know him – keep doing what you are doing – keep the conversation exciting and interesting. Make sure that it is a positive experience for you – don’t let yourself over analyze his messages (why has he taken so long to answer? Why are his answers to short, what did he mean by…) or you will drive yourself crazy! If he continues to communicate with you, and most of his messages are engaging, then he is probably interested in progressing into a relationship.
      Good luck!

  32. Hi! I love your articles so much!

    I was having a bit of an issue. There’s this guy that I’ve been dating for one week so for and everything is fantastic thus far! I know a lot of significant stuff about him, we have an insane about in common, we have similar opinions and tastes and I feel comfortable with him like I’ve never felt with a guy before. However, I feel like all of a sudden, there’s this shyness or rather blockage in my mind where I freeze up when trying to respond to a text from him and end up not indulging in natural conversation. In person, I start off so energetic and full of conversation then eventually run out of things to say. This happens usually when I realize I truly like someone but I’m not sure if it’s related to anxiety or whatnot. I really just wanna know if it’s a thing that tends to happen or if it’s just me overthinking.

    1. Hi Danni,
      I’m so glad you are enjoying the articles 🙂 I think what you are experiencing tends to happen to a lot of people (myself included). When you have a quiet minute to yourself, take some time and think about past conversations with him. What are his passions, interests and dreams? Do a little research on the stuff he likes (you can even make a list) and the next time you see him or are texting with him, ask him questions about it. Do the same things with your own interests (because he will probably ask you the same thing). Ask him if he can recommend some good books (because you’re looking for a good read :)Talk to him about his favorite travel destinations. Tell him you are planning to take your parents or some good girlfriends out to dinner and ask him for his favorite spots, or the some wine recommendations. I think the key is to prepare some topics beforehand and then go with the flow. Don’t make it feel like an interview, but have something already lurking in your head. And of course…throw in a little flirting. Make a comment about his new hair cut, how he handled a big project at work, or how he is such a great friend to his buddy going through a hard time. Then tell him how you find that attractive and through in a smiley.
      Send me an email if I can help you in any way – [email protected]. Wishing you the best of luck! 🙂

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