If you can’t communicate properly with your partner via text, your relationship may struggle. And if things have gotten so bad that you’re hardly texting at all, you might be thinking that you’re losing them. One moment the two of you were texting every day, and suddenly you’re not. Sometimes there are gaps of 2-3 days, and sometimes the gaps are even longer. It’s frustrating because things were going so well. Many of us have been there - and, yes, it’s horrible!

Texting mistakes can really wreak havoc on an otherwise happy relationship. Communication is the bedrock of all good relationships, and once it goes downhill via text, it’s not a good sign.

Ready to dive in and better understand why communication can break down due to common texting mistakes? Here are some things you can do:

1. Avoid Rants

If your partner has done something to annoy you, it’s not a good idea to rant at them about it via text. This will only put more wood on the fire, and it will lead to misunderstandings and further rants.

What’s important is that your texts are something that your partner looks forward to receiving. When their phone vibrates, it should release a hit of dopamine in their brain because they hope it’s you.

On the other hand, if you’re prone to ranting via text, another vibration in their pocket is going to cause negative feelings. So much so that they might not even check their phone for a while.

What To Do Instead Of Ranting

If there’s something on your mind, speak to them about it in person. Text fights never end well!

Instead of ranting at your partner via text, take a moment to think of the good things they’ve done for you, and which you should be grateful and thankful for.

It will help to calm you down.

When you’re calm, send them a thank you message! This will instantly change your mood while improving communication and your relationship.

And when they get home, you might still be a tad frustrated by what they did, but you won’t be so angry that you shout and bawl at them unproductively.

2. Playing It Cool

One of the biggest texting mistakes is firing off cold, to the point “pick up some milk at the grocery store” type of text messages. It can be an easy to fall into this trap, but don’t do it!

If you’re going to be texting every day, it’s important that you make your texts count.

Sure, sometimes you need to ask for the milk, or where your partner made dinner reservations, but most of your text messages should not revolve around making plans or buying groceries.

Not sure what to send? How about one of these two types of messages?

A. I’m Thinking Of You

For example, let them know that they are on your mind with a sweet “I’m thinking of you” text message.

Although you shouldn’t send an “I’m thinking of you” text each day (because it will lose its meaning), it’s important that you send one of these now and then.

Why? Because it will make your partner feel good and remind them of your bond. If there’s a day they’ve been dreading – a presentation at work, meeting with their estranged mom, etc., – send them this text. Include a photo of you, too! However, you don’t need to wait for a “special occasion” to send this text. Any time will do. They’ll really appreciate it.

B. I Love You

Do you ever tell your partner that you love them via text? While there’s no need to do this each day, it’s a good idea to send them the 3 magic words now and then.

Think of creative ways to do it. Attach a photo or a video, or even a GIF.

But when you do say these 3 words, don’t say anything else. Any other words undercut their importance. Say “I love you” and leave it at that.

3. Not Responding Within A Good Time Frame

If you can respond to a text, why wouldn’t you?

It’s especially frustrating when we’re in the middle of a texting conversation when, without warning, they stop texting back.

Two days later, they reply.

Games like this are terrible for mature communication. If you can reply, reply!”

4. Sending Zero-Value Texts

If you want to text your partner each day, you need to be careful that you don’t fall into the trap of zero-value texts.

This is a trap that’s easy to fall into. When we text for the sake of texting, the conversation is often meaningless, directionless – and boring. And maybe without even knowing it you are committing a huge texting mistakes.

This is problematic, as it shows a lack of communication skills, and it also shows an over-dependence on our partner.

Out Of Ideas? Stop Texting

From now on, if you have nothing to say, put your phone away. If a texting conversation has just died, let it go. Leave it until tomorrow.

Zero-value texts can demean a relationship. It’s sometimes cute to text our partner “just because,” but that routine quickly gets old and makes you look too needy. And this my friends is one of the biggest texting mistakes out there!

5. Giving Orders Is One Of The Worst Texting Mistakes

Lastly, the great thing about texting is that you can stop to think about the language you are using.

For example, “do this” and “do that” is heavy, almost threatening language that’s bad for communication. When it comes to texting mistakes this is one you should avoid at all costs.

Instead of giving direct orders via text, ask your partner if they could do something for you. Switching up your language can work wonders for your communication.

Why Too Much Texting Can Be Counterproductive

All in all, you don’t need to be texting every day all day long. Excessive texting can be unhealthy, and it’s sometimes the reason why communication stalls because we go into “pilot mode” and we forget to say the things that really matter. Weighed down by the constant barrage of small talk, we forget how to actually communicate like a partner should.

So, when you do text, make sure that it counts and that you avoid these 5 romance destroying texting mistakes. Anything to add? Leave a comment below!

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Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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  1. Hi! My name is Antonis and I’m from Athens, Greece. I met and started talking with my girlfriend on February in a romantic way and i had so many ideas but now i’m currently facing these problems and i send no value texts. How can i change this situation?

    1. Hi Antonis,
      It is nice to hear from you! If you feel like you are running out of things to text about, think back to when you first met. What did you talk about then? Hobbies, dreams, asking each other questions? Try to quit sending mundane texts and go for quality over quantity. Send links to videos or articles you think she’d like, leave a voice message, send her funny or sweet photos of yourself and include a caption. While it might not feel like it at the moment, the longer you are with someone, the more you have to talk about. So, create some inside jokes, give her some genuine compliments, surprise her with a simple “thinking of you” text at a time you normally wouldn’t write…the possibilities are endless! Email me if you would like any other ideas. [email protected]

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