Ah, texting. Just like anything in life, there are do’s and don’ts. There are texting rules.
Do flirt with him.
Don’t tell him you strongly believed you were abducted by aliens when you were thirteen and now think they’re going to invade the whole planet.
Do compliment him.
Don’t tell him you want to strangle your neighbor and bury them in your garden.
The thing is that texting can be hard. Unless your game is polished and on-point, keeping his interest can be next to impossible at times. You think things are going well, he’s started using emojis and seems like he might want to meet. Then BAM! A text faux-pas from you kills everything. All of a sudden he says “K” to every message.
What gives? Texting rules matter. To make sure you strengthen your relationship with a man, here are 5 things to never tell him over text:
1. Texting Rule 101: Don’t Text Needy Vibes
You know the type of texts we mean:
Where are you?
*sighs* I feel like you never have time for me anymore…
Are you still there?
Refraining from these kinds of texts is hard when you really want to talk to him and a re concerned that he hasn’t replied. These concerns are YOUR issue, though, and vicing them will make you look needy, which guys hate.
Once you start sending these text messages to him, it’s a slippery slope. You’ve let your guard down. No longer are you the cool cat who doesn’t care when he texts – you’re the needy type who he’s already won.
Guys like the chase. Give him something to chase. As soon as you display neediness, it’s game over.
2. Your Deep Feelings Too Soon
I love you
You might have gotten to the point where you think you love him. But is texting him your feelings really the smartest move? Text messages for him shouldn’t be so emotionally revealing.
Not only should those three magic words slip from your tongue face-to-face the first time you say them, but you might not get the response you want via text.
What if he doesn’t feel that way yet? Feelings should be dealt with in person, and not via text. By all means, do tell him these things AFTER you have said them face to face. Never use texting as a way to avoid deep conversations. Don’t hide behind your keyboard!
3. Details From An Amazing Relationship/Fling/One-Night Stand
What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?
We get it. You want to talk about sex and flings, etc, to build the tension and get you both in the mood. But this is very dangerous territory.
You might think it’s okay to talk about past relationships. And it kind of is – but only to a point.
A guy isn’t really interested in hearing anything about your previous relationship, but they especially don’t want to hear how much another guy sexually pleased you.
You might be under the impression that it’s OK to talk about sex like this and that your text might build some sexual tension. After all, guys like to prove how much better they are than everyone else, right?
Actually no. It puts unwanted pressure on him, creates unwanted images in his mind and spiral out of control quickly.
So, refrain from texting him about past relationships, and definitely don’t fantasize about them to him! If anything, play them down – not up.
4. Your Political Views
I hope you’re not a (insert name here) supporter…
Please don’t tell me you agree with (insert political action here)
Has something in the news fired you up? Do you want to vent to him via text? DON’T! One of the biggest texting rules is that you should avoid ALL potentially volatile subject matters.
And no subject matter is more volatile and diverse than politics.
Your text messages for him shouldn’t reveal your political allegiance explicitly. Don’t ask him for his views on such-and-such thing, and don’t bring up the news. Why? World War Three could erupt. And when it erupts via text, it can change the entire complexion of whatever you guys have/had – for the worse.
Keep things fun and positive as much as you can.
5. Your Deep Personal Issues
I feel like you’re the only person I can talk to about this
Think you can trust him enough to tell him about your issues that no one else knows about?
Think you can open up about your lack of confidence, your OCD, or how you were bullied at school?
Refrain. [Tweet “A major texting rule is that we get into the serious stuff in person.”] Text messages for him should never be this intense.
Once you start digging up your deep personal issues via text, the relationship takes on a different dimension – one that he might not be able to handle and totally didn’t expect. He’s your potential boyfriend, not your therapist.
Texts are for fun, frolics and emojis. Stick to the golden texting rules about what to text, avoid the serious stuff, and you’re good to go!