Flirting in real life can be scary. So can text flirting. It’s much easier to stay in the corner with your friends and watch the action from afar. Unfortunately…most of the time if you stay disconnected from the game, you’ll never find your dream partner.
Ready to learn how to make text flirting work wonders for your romantic life? Sit back and become a savvy flirter who understands how to succeed with text flirting.
In Text Flirting Timing Is Everything
Similar to face to face flirting – and, in fact, all forms of communication – it pays to be considerate. Before you send a text, consider how it will be received.
Imagine receiving a text from someone who’s attempting to flirt with you at 3 o’clock in the morning while you’re trying to get some zzzz’s.
Would you be delighted, or annoyed? Use the same consideration for your partner.
Unless you live with your partner, and you have a pretty good understanding of how their day is planned and their mental and physical state, it is quite hard to know how receptive your partner will be. Basically you have no idea if they are tired, busy or upset about something.
So, if after a few light, teasing texts you see that your partner just isn’t engaged, put your flirty convo on-hold for another time. And don’t feel bad, or give up. Sometimes it really has nothing to do with you!
Setting The Stage
There is also a certain art to starting a text conversation, much like approaching someone new at the bar. Your opener sets the stage for the rest of the conversation. So, don’t start with “Hey” try something with a little more pizzazz, such as:
“Hey there, troublemaker”
“How’s it going, superman?”
Remember, the key to setting a flirty atmosphere is to be lighthearted, playful, and slightly teasing.
You don’t want to start too bold and shock them. Do you have an idea of their comfort level? Are they relaxed with flirty topics, or do they quickly change the subject? Make sure you know, and respect their boundaries before slowly turning up the heat.
What’s Your Dream Exchange?
One of the best aspects of text flirting is that, unlike in a face to face conversation, you can actually plan out what you’d like to say before by writing your thoughts as a draft. So, before sending your first flirty message, begin by sitting back and imagining the ideal conversation you’d like to have with your partner.
Think of some topics, maybe even prepare some flirty images or gifs before you start the convo. This is especially helpful if you are entirely new to text flirting. It will take the pressure off, and it might just help you discover hidden desires and fantasies.
What topics would successfully pull their attention away from their busy day and put you at the forefront of their thoughts? What would make them smile? Some soft flattery? A romantic souvenir from one of your previous dates? An interesting bit of information concerning a common interest? Common interests are a fantastic way to bond and share a laugh together. The Internet is chock full of funny images and jokes related to your shared activities or hobbies.
Plan out your message, and then let it fly.
Text Flirting Is All About Being Authentic
Being authentic means staying true to yourself and sharing your thoughts, all with a flirty twist. The one liners without depth are just not going to fly. No guy or girl wants to receive something that you could have copied and pasted to 15 other people.
Dive in a little deeper and talk specifics. Why are you so drawn to their wicked sense of humor, what about her smell makes you crazy?
Share your thoughts – did she blow you away when she showed up for your 4th date in a sexy black dress? Is his sexy smile a super turn on? Is his or her dedication to fitness inspiring (and noticed…hello bulging biceps!)?
Did something remind you of your partner? Instead of just writing “thinking of you,” tell them why.
For example: “Feels like I see you everywhere. I swear I just saw your alter ego in front of the public library. He was even sporting Converse.”
While you’re at it, you could send a second message adding, “He might have your shoes, but you’re much cuter” as a coy touch. Once in a while, text your special someone when their favorite song comes up on your playlist, or on the radio. It’s a nice gesture to let them know you’re thinking of them. Keep them close, but don’t overdo it.
Compliment From The Heart
Yes, soft flattery works. No matter which gender you’re texting, men and women love to be complimented. Compliments are kind affirmations and validations. To make them flirty instead of simply friendly, throw in a few compliments that let them know you find them attractive without being too direct.
For example, comment on how fantastic they look in a new outfit, or with a new haircut. Details are important. Instead of just texting “I love your haircut,” go further: “Wow, great haircut, it perfectly frames your beautiful face.”
Did she just get her toe nails done? Tell her that she is beautiful from head to foot. She’ll feel special that you noticed details.
Body language is one of the fundamental aspects of face to face flirting. Luckily, virtual body language also exists and will help you to succeed with text flirting. So, get familiar with your emoji library and do your research. There are certain emojis that work better with women and certain emojis that guys respond best to.
Tease and Tantalize
Always try to make a good impression, even when you’re attempting to get a laugh. Stay away from offensive jokes dealing with sensitive subjects. Avoid anything with a racist, sexist, religious, or otherwise personal attack. Not only are these jarring to read, but texts with this content could also be considered harassment. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t text it.
Instead, tell a funny story about something that recently happened to you. Open up and let your sillier side shine through. It’s attractive when someone is confident enough to laugh at themselves. It also gives a signal to your partner that you trust them enough to share something personal.
You can also playfully challenge them. For example, suggest an activity date like ping pong, billiards or darts and say that the winner gets to decide on dessert. You’ll get a feel from their answer if they want to take it up a notch, or if they are a little bit more reserved.
Another great way to banter is by creating inside jokes or puns. Did she forget her purse at the restaurant on your last date? Tease her and text something about bringing a bigger purse for your date tonight so she doesn’t forget it. Then playfully add that you’re just teasing, it’s normal, you have that affect on people.
The key is to keep it light and never take it too far.
Text Flirting Leaves Them Wanting More
The purpose of flirting with someone is to let them know that you are interested in them. Don’t keep them guessing.
Treat text flirting like any other communication medium; be yourself, and show genuine interest in your partner. Remember to “show you” and “discuss them.” It’s relatively easy to get carried away when flirting via text. Always read your messages carefully before pushing the Send button. Put yourself behind their screen. Would this be a message that you’d like to receive?
One last piece of advice, is not to overdo a good thing. The best text flirters know that the goal is to plat the seed of desire and leave them wanting more. Leave a convo when it’s on a high note, not when it has already gone 10 minutes past it’s expiration date. Helping a friend with something? Going to a spin class? Off to do some retail therapy? Tell them that if they want more, they need to plan an in person date. Warm them up with your keyboard, then kiss them with your lips and hold them tight.
Masterful texting is a powerful way to flirt. You can do it anytime, anywhere. If you never want to be at a loss for a flirty or fun text topic again, consider ordering my eBook French Seduction Made Easy, which will provide you with tons of creative and proven ideas to make the one you’re flirting with want you.